Nidaime Otokage
by Haintrex
Summary: No one knew him. His father was still alive. His Sharingan acted like it had always been his. Kakashi was twenty-two years in the past of a different world.
1. The end of one life

**A/N: Hey guys! I did a different version of WhisperingDarkness's Nukenin idea (on AO3) and hope you like it! Go check out their story also, its absolutely amazing!**

 **WARNING: I stopped watching Naruto around episode 50 of Shippuden, and there may/definitely contain(s):**

 **-HEADCANONS (Gracious liberties of canon/timeline, because honestly its a mess)**

 **-Possible M/M, F/F, or even Polygamy (No Harems, I find most of them to end up as shallow porn fics - no offense to those that like them, just not a fan - and if i were to really do a polygamy relationship, it'd most likely be a SasuSakuNaru)**

 **-BORUTO is completely discarded, and the original timeline after the end of Naruto is different (meaning the relationships that were in canon after the war and possibly some before dont all exist - I'm still not sure which ones i even want to keep, I usually write on the fly)**

 **-BAMF Kakashi (meaning Kage level, which you'll see why)**

 **-Mature content such as swearing, violence, death, etc., so if you have a certain trigger i suggest you proceed with caution (though this is mostly a fic i'm writing for fun/humor)**

 **-Crack/Humorous/rare situations/pairings - though nothing crazy, I try to stay somewhat logical**

 **-My characters LIE, and i dont always tell you when they do, so dont always think that i'm/they're telling you the whole story**

 **-Dont expect answers to everything right away, because for one, i dont have all of them yet, and two, its not really any fun when you know everything now is it?**

 **-Just to reiterate: I TAKE LIBERTIES WITH CANON, cuz its fun, and its fanfic *shrugs***

 **-I'm mostly just having FUN, as this is a humorous fic, so try not to take everything too seriously**

 **So if they're a problem, you may wanna back out now! That was your once and only warning :)**

 **I have no beta, so mistakes are mine. And Naruto does not belong to me, k?**

 **Now, enjoy~**

* * *

"Congratulations are in order, Nidaime Otokage-sama."

Kakashi paused, and blinked once. "…what?" He saw as Kabuto's mouth moved, but heard no words. Glancing down at the floor before him, the head of Orochimaru before him was surrounded by a steadily growing pool of blood, chakra sword gripped in his hand and dripping red. Slowly, the sound broke through his barrier of hazy disbelief. This _couldn't_ be his life right now.

"…and as Otogakure's policies state, when a missing-nin fights a duel with a Sound-nin and wins, they inherit the position of the Sound-nin. As you have defeated the previous Kage, you are hereby the Nidaime Otokage. Hence the congratulations," Kabuto seemed to be taking immense pleasure in his discomfort, for there was a small smirk growing around the edges of the medic-nin's mouth.

The Sound-nin behind Kabuto all dipped their heads, awe in their faces at the person strong enough to defeat their Kage, and murmured an eerily synchronized, "Nidaime Hatake-sama."

"… _what?!"_ And all he could think was, _not again!_

* * *

 **Approximately 9 months ago**

When Kakashi woke, it was to a pounding headache and an uneasy feeling brewing in his stomach. Fingers twitched involuntarily, and a groan escaped his parted lips. Had he drank too much with Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke last night after Naruto's inauguration to Nanadaime Hokage? Because it certainly felt like he had chugged too much sake. The world spun for a few moments before Kakashi was able to orientate himself.

Bright sunlight stared back and him, and when Kakashi breathed in all he could smell for miles around was compact earth, a water source, and small animals hiding in their homes. If he had to take a guess he'd say he was in the middle of Earth country. That was… disconcerting to say the least. Kakashi sat up, taking in his immediate surroundings carefully and training took over. Almost all the belongings that he had the night before were still on him. Him being a paranoid ex-ANBU/ROOT carried around excess weapons and sealed sets of clothes, medicine, and soldier pills (plus his Icha Icha collection of course, he couldn't possibly leave something that precious at home for his friends to use as leverage against him now could he?). Despite those small reassurances, he had still apparently been transported from one country to another.

It was showing how out of it Kakashi was that he hadn't even noticed that his left eye was closed subconsciously, like when he still had the Sharingan. He cracked it open; almost expecting it to automatically drain chakra, and when nothing happened something still didn't feel right. So with that thought, he channeled a small amount of chakra like an Uchiha would and only his natural reflexes caused him not to gasp as it activated.

Huh.

Suffice to say… Kakashi didn't know what in the world was going on. It took him a couple weeks before he finally figured it out, or at least to have a hypothesis.

No hitai-ate, no recognition upon sightings in villages, and no page in the newly acquired bingo book stating he was an S-rank shinobi, just… nothing. That clued him in a bit, but what really made him realize it, was that there was talk of Hanzō dying. _Hanzō,_ which meant Naruto was around ten years old, making Kakashi twenty-four (It was strange seeing his youthful face in mirrors again).

And following that logic… around twenty-two years in the past, give or take a year.

But still, that wouldn't explain why no one knew of a clan in Konoha named Hatake. And if he really believed what they were saying… they were small time farmers somewhere in the Fire Country. That was possibly the most bewildering piece of evidence. It took over a week of solid top-speed travelling, but he made it to a small village on the very outskirts of the northern Fire border.

Kakashi quickly shunshined to the outside of it, and strolled through the farmlands lazily, body hunched. He had applied a mild henge over his left eye so there was no scar, but other than that left himself as normal as possible. After all, no one seemed to recognize Hatake Kakashi for the shinobi he was. Stopping in his tracks his eyes widened, for standing not far from him was none other than Hatake Sakumo. Older, wearier lines on his face, and tanner from working in the fields, but nonetheless the same man whom Kakashi could never forget.

In his shock he stared longer than he should have, alerting the man to his attention. Sakumo straightened from his work and their eyes connected, the slight surprise showing in the older man's body language.

"You're… a Hatake?" The man stepped closer, looking him over multiple times. Kakashi couldn't move an inch. "Yes, you have to be… you look like…"

"Hatake Kakashi." Came out before Kakashi could stop his mouth. Normally Kakashi was much more controlled than this, but standing here in front of his dead father… well, somehow he couldn't lie and crush the happy look on the man's face. His _father's_ face. Whom he couldn't remember smiling so openly since _that_ mission.

Unbridled joy over took Sakumo's visage, "I knew it!" Eyebrows scrunched together in thought, "I had thought myself to be the last, and am glad to hear otherwise. Please, come have lunch with me, I insist."

"Maa~," Kakashi half-choked, trying to recover, "I wouldn't want to interrupt—,"

A hand slapping down on his shoulder almost made him flinch. Another one of those blinding smiles, "Nonsense! Family should always have time to catch up."

Kakashi rubbed his chest, trying to breath, and could only softly protest as he was herded into the small but homey house. The man pushed him onto a cushion in front of his kotatsu table, and then went to quickly brew a small pot. While it was heating he returned and sat on the opposite side. This gave Kakashi a few seconds to regain his composure.

"So, how old are you, Kakashi-san?"

"Kakashi is fine," He murmured, fiddling with edge of the table. "And I'm twenty-four."

Sakumo paused, something flashing in his expression. Regret? Remorse? Hope? Kakashi wasn't sure, or possibly all three. "T-twenty-four, eh? Where did you grow up?"

Kakashi shrugged, "Here and there." Which was technically true, for all that he was a Konoha shinobi, he grew up more in the fields of war than could ever be healthy. He tried not to think of a smiling face, still half crushed under a boulder, red eye glowing up at him.

"I see." And apparently Sakumo did actually _see_ something from that answer, which gave Kakashi pause. "Ever been around the River city?" His father got up and grabbed the teapot, quickly pouring tea in their cups.

"Once or twice."

A grimace covered Sakumo's face, and he took a deep sip of his tea, before looking back up at Kakashi. "There have been no other Hatake than me for more than thirty years, Kakashi, which makes you something of a miracle."

A silver eyebrow rose, "That so?" Something told Kakashi what was going to happen could become an extremely bad or good thing. His muscles tensed in anticipation before training made them loosen.

Sakumo exhaled, "I think you may be my son."

Silence reigned.

The man cleared his throat, "Twenty four and a few months ago, my wife, whom was heavily pregnant at the time, and I went by the River city after leaving our destroyed village. There was an ambush on the caravan we were travelling with and…" Another deep breath, "lets say that I knew I would be the last Hatake after that. I… didn't check her body, and assumed that our child had died as well since the man that killed her had ran her through with a sword."

That feeling in his stomach intensified. And Kakashi knew right then, that here in this world, he _had_ died.

"I was planning on going to Konoha, pledging my services through the use of my samurai training, but after her death I couldn't. It seemed so pointless when I had nothing else to protect." Sakumo stood abruptly, "Wait here for a moment, please."

When he returned, Kakashi barely kept his fingers from shaking as he accepted the bundle from his father. He stroked the casing, which was carved with the Hatake name of those whom had previously used it. It was his father's chakra sword. Or was it still a chakra sword, since Hatake had been samurai in this world, and not shinobi?

A few moments passed in contemplation. "Kakashi…"

He looked up from the sword still clutched in his hands. "Yes, _Tou-san?"_

Sakumo inhaled sharply, eyes suspiciously wet (Kakashi ignored the feeling of his own stinging), "You seem to have grown strong without me, and you don't seem like you're the type to stay in a quiet little village like this. It's Hatake tradition to pass on their choice of weapon to their eldest when they've retired. I want you to have it, so that I know wherever your feet take you, that you'll have a piece of our legacy to protect you too. A piece of our family to watch your back."

His father stood and gathered the dishes (discreetly wondering when Kakashi had managed to drink all his tea, but not prying, for he could see his son was a man of many secrets) with his back turned to Kakashi.

Kakashi was already halfway out the door when his father spoke softly, "I hope one day you can forgive an old foolish man like me for abandoning you." The echoes of another life, of the sword in Sakumo's hands sliding like butter through his own chest, the slight twist of his lips in rigor mortis, _I'm sorry._

"I forgive you, Tou-san. I hope you forgive me too." _I was such a fool; you've always been a hero._

Sakumo gasps, sob cracking out of his mouth, and spins to find his door ajar, but no Kakashi.

* * *

No one knew him.

His father was still alive.

His Sharingan acted like it had always been his.

Kakashi was twenty-two years in the past of a different world.

* * *

 **Konoha**

Three chakra signatures peaked and dropped so quickly that even the best ANBU sensors didn't take notice.

Two green eyes opened, surveying her surroundings, small hands, and flat chest quickly before lowly growling, " _Na-ruuu-tooooo!"_ Her fist went through the wall.

Two black eyes opened and then burned the red of the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, heart pounding at the Uchiwa fans covering traditional shoji doors, grunting an aggravated, "Hn."

Two bright blue eyes opened, staring at the cracks along his ceiling, his _old bedroom's ceiling,_ "Oh shit, they're going to kill me." A deep rumbling in the back of his mind reverberated throughout him, the sound of laughter.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you guys like it! Please comment! I'd totally like to read any ideas you have too, cuz i'm pretty much free-flyin here. Sorry if Kakashi is a lil OOC here, I've never written any Naruto stories before.**

 **Reminder, this is an idea that was based off of WhisperingDarkness's Nukenin story! You'll regret if you dont check it out!**

 **A/N #2 (May 16th 2018): I got a review a bit ago stating,** "Thinking that your unborn child is the early twenties year old who has a sharingon just because of his name? The hell!?" **So i just wanted to explain my thinking a bit.**

 **1\. He did NOT have his Sharing an activated, as he figured out earlier that it would deactivate (also this means he has a wayyyy bigger chakra reservoir).**

 **2\. Literally one of the first things out of Sakumo's mouth was along the lines of, 'you look like a Hatake', BEFORE Kakashi introduced himself. They share a LOT of characteristics, like what mid twenty year old has white hair other than a Hatake (or the supposed dead Kaguya and Hozuki clans – there could be others I'm forgetting, but my point is it's rare)? Then he went on to ask if Kakashi had been around the River city, where his wife had died (meaning he thought Kakashi had been taken in by someone and grown up there).**

 **3\. He had been wandering for YEARS (remember Sakumo said there have been no other Hatake for 30 years?) before his wife got pregnant and then they were headed towards Konoha. Then, 24ish years ago, his wife fell when she was going to give birth soon. Ergo, (unless there's some random Hatake – which Sakumo doubts, cuz why would he not look for them earlier on?), Kakashi is most likely a relative.**

 **4\. There is a SLIM, SLIM chance that the blade could have missed the baby's body, I mean it's a damn ninja world (maybe the wife did something while she was stabbed? Perhaps she was a ninja or a samurai, point is you don't know yet). Which is why Sakumo didn't check the body, because it was that small of a chance (and he was grieving). I'm not exactly sure if/how long a baby could survive after the mother dies. But there is something called 'Coffin Birth' where 2-3 days after the mother dies gasses build up and can push a baby out in a way that mimics childbirth. Does it mean the baby lives usually? I don't know, I just used that as a premise.**

 **5\. Honestly, regardless if Sakumo actually believes that Kakashi is his son, they're obviously related somehow. Sakumo has been alone for over twenty years, I don't think he gives a fuck; he's his son now.**

 **I dont normally explain this in depth, but i thought this would clear it up a smidge. Also, i dont mind questions, or criticisms, but at least try to back your thought up a little more? Plus, i figure, readers aren't dumb, read between the lines, form theories of your own. Even if you dont agree with me, that's fine, and i hope you enjoyed what you could! :)**


	2. I'm just a man lost on the road of life

**A/N: Thanks for all the comments! I loved reading what you guys thought! And yes, some things may be a little confusing, but you're not going to get all the answers right away. (I only have half of them thought out anyways lol)**

 **Also, don't expect me to update this quickly all the time; I'm a notoriously slow updater. Also, I don't own Naruto, k? I'm a poor 22 yr old, who is definitely not Kishimoto.**

 **Enjoy~**

* * *

The next week after visiting his father was spent with copious amounts of sake. After that, Kakashi forced himself out of his slump; there were things that regardless of him not being a Konoha shinobi that he could effect. He was no Tsunade, to drown his sorrows with alcohol. Because of his work as a tracker there were various spots around the world where he knew he could pick up work as a missing-nin. Though there were many things he wanted to do, money would have to come first.

Kakashi entered the small establishment on the border of Kusa and Konoha, Icha Icha held in front of his face. It was an underground missing-nin hideout and mercenary mission post. Many of them were scattered around the nation. This one he so happens to know of because Kakashi was the one who dismantled this operation on an ANBU mission after Naruto left the village for training. He specifically chose to ignore the other Fire Nation Bounty Station that was manned by Zangei. If the mission he wanted was here, then there was no way he was going there.

It suddenly got very quiet as he walked up to the bar. Kakashi knew that everyone was curious as to whom he was. The hitai-ate covering his left eye merely stated 'Shinobi', unlike the various missing-nin with a slash through their previous village symbols. It had been sealed in one of his scrolls as a remnant from the war he fought against Kaguya. Normally he'd just wear an eye patch, but this gave him an air of mystery that made Kakashi stifle a giggle behind his book cover. He had also changed into his old ANBU uniform, but with long sleeves to cover his tattoo and a black vest. If he walked around in a Konoha jounin uniform it would create some uncomfortable questions.

Sliding into a seat he very carefully lowered his book, "Maa, any missions for a poor man like myself?"

The bartender looked at him like he was insane, taking in his slouch and lazy demeanor. "Names Kinji, owner of the place. But don't go givin' anyone trouble. This is a neutral area."

Kakashi hummed, "No worries, Kinji-san. I'm merely a shinobi in look of work, that's all."

Kinji nodded, "I've not seen you around these parts, nor have I ever seen a headband like that before."

Shrugging, Kakashi smiled with his eye, "Well, I'm just a man lost on the road of life. I just now found a new path that lead here." Everyone gaped at the absolutely ridiculous answer. Kakashi snickered and then answered the other question, fingering the hitai-ate. "As for this, ahhh, it was given to me by the Sage of Six paths when he told me to create world peace, help little kiddies, bring rainbows and all that." He waved his hand dismissively, completely ignoring the outright stares he was now getting.

"…" The man opened his mouth and closed it a few times before sighing and pointing to a board in the back right corner of the room, "There's posters of missions and the bounties of the people in the bingo book available back there. We run a little different from other establishments. So when you choose one make sure to check with me so that I can inform the client they have a meeting if they want to meet face to face. And to make sure you're the same person to request it and pay you what you're owed. Otherwise, even if you do complete the mission successfully, the rewards go to further this station."

Giving the man another smile he walked through the crowds that parted for him, taking a quick scan of the board before swiping one off and presenting it to the bartender. "This one'll do nicely." Kakashi snapped his book closed, pocketing it so quickly no one noticed.

"This is…"

Tilting his head, Kakashi took in the pale complexion of the man before him, "A perfect warm up mission, ne?"

"…Y-you—," Kinji started, whipping his head up, but there was nobody there. He looked back down at the paper gripped in his hands, Kakuzu's face staring back up. Slumping in his seat behind the bar, he placed his head in his hands, "That man is fucking insane."

* * *

 **Konoha**

"Who the hell is this guy?!" Ibiki slammed the folder down in an uncharacteristic show of anger. He breathed out and pinched the bridge of his nose, "It's been five months since we've started hearing about this Hatake Kakashi, so why have we not gained anything except—," Ibiki didn't even have to glance at the list, and started ranting them off, "He apparently is the godsend to civilians and missing-nin alike, wont kill children, is an S-rank or higher shinobi, carries a white chakra sword, no ties to any hidden village, wears a mask and a hitai-ate with the word 'Shinobi' across his left eye, has silver hair, is a pervert, and approximately twenty-five years old."

Inoichi's head lifted from where it was banging against the table, dark circles under his eyes and ruffled hair. "I don't understand his actions _at all_." The man scrambled for some papers, "One report says that the first mention of him was when he turned in the bounty of Kakuzu for _billions_ of ryo. He's probably the richest man other than the Fire Country Daimyo. Next was Sasori of the Red Sand, both of them S-Rank shinobi. But unlike Kakuzu he didn't even turn the bounty in! Instead Hatake travelled all the way from the northern parts of Earth Country to Sunagakure just to give old Chiyo her grandson's dead body for burial. Chiyo even said that he was a nice young man, _a nice young man! Chiyo!_ _The Poison Mistress!_ " The Yamanaka regulated his breathing before he gave himself a panic attack just from sheer disbelief.

Anko started laughing so hard tears were flowing down her face. Inoichi glared at her as she propped her feet onto Ibiki's desk. "The mans a genius. Pure. Genius. I say if he doesn't have any ties to a village, old Hokage-sama should recruit him."

Both men ignored her. The blond Interrogator groaned, "While in Sunagakure, he did something to their jinchuuriki that night. Suna's not been talking but all the spies in place have stated that the monthly killings have reduced. That's not even the worst of it. After that, when I think I have a handle on his goals and personality, he tells Jiraiya-sama this…"

 _Kakashi leaned back in his chair, the sake in his cup steadily draining as he eyed the man across from him. Jiraiya looked the same in this world as the last, which made Kakashi more comfortable than he probably should have been. Though they were no longer comrades, he still thought of him as a friend._

" _Ahh, to think I'd managed to meet my hero, Jiraiya the Legendary Pervert."_

 _Sharp eyes looked at him, but the goofy grin on the man's face would have fooled most. Jiraiya gave him a thumbs up, "It's always nice to meet a fan."_

 _Kakashi nods, smiling, "So what can I do for the great Jiraiya-sama?"_

" _Hmm. I've just been hearing so much of this new S-Rank shinobi that no one knew of before. You're quite the mysterious figure, I'm curious if you'd indulge me in a few questions."_

" _Maa maa, I'm just a man lost on the road of life. Nothing mysterious about me."_

 _Jiraiya apparently took that as the go ahead to ask away, "The road of life you say? And why has it taken you here?"_

" _Who knows?" Kakashi mused, thinking of waking in a clearing in the middle of Earth Country. "But an evil rabbit demon with three eyes and a tendency for attempted filicide crossed my path and I decided to take another way."_

 _The Sage looked at him, humor showing on his face, and laughed. But Kakashi had known the man long enough to see how everything he had been saying was being taken into account, no matter how ridiculous. "A rabbit demon! Ha!"_

" _Believe me, the last thing you'd do is laugh if you came across it." Kakashi shivered at the thought of Kaguya staring down at them._

" _I'll take that into account, Hatake-san."_

" _Kakashi," He said, taking a sip. "Hatake-san makes me think of my old man." He tries not thinking of the broken man he left in a small village. They'd see each other again, Kakashi would make sure of it._

" _Kakashi then," Jiraiya hums. "A strong bounty hunter like you seems able enough to take down a rabbit, and even a few missing-nin. Or so I've heard."_

" _A man needs to feed himself after all, shinobi or not."_

" _But going after S-Rank nin. Quite unusual for merely feeding yourself." Jiraiya hedged, not openly asking him to continue, but it was there._

 _Kakashi gave him an amused look then flipped a page in his Icha Icha, "Jiraiya-sama, if there is a question, just ask. Maybe I'll answer, maybe I wont. But I've gotten over these games in my old age." He waves a hand at his silver hair._

 _Jiraiya snorts, leaning back and scrutinizing him before nodding, "Very well. Everyone's noticed that so far you've taken out Sasori and Kakuzu, one you turned a bounty in, the other you didn't. Is there a reason for the difference? Why not turn Kakuzu into Takigakure? Why kill them and not aim for someone lower? There must be a personal grudge, yet you've never met either before."_

" _You certainly don't hold back," Kakashi huffed, "Sasori was the one to kill the Sandaime Kazekage and had family still alive. There were things that his body could give closure to. Who am I to take that away?"_

" _The Sandaime Kazekage?" Jiraiya murmured, rubbing his chin. "And Kakuzu?"_

" _Him I just didn't like. You see, there was this plant I came across with strange red markings and his cloak reminded me of it. That's all." Another page flipped. He didn't have to look up to know that it had caught Jiraiya's attention._

" _Oh? There are a few other cloaks out there like that, including Sasori's. Is your dislike so great it will affect them too?"_

 _Kakashi peered over the book, "Maa, I just don't like the combination of red clouds and black cloth, tacky for a missing-nin if you ask me. Practically begging to get killed."_

" _Then you're not opposed to taking care of another?"_

 _His Icha Icha disappeared, slouched form now alert. "Ah, so now we get to the real reason you joined me here."_

" _He's one of the two Konoha missing-nin." One of the_ two _Konoha missing-nin? Kakashi deliberately did not ask, just filed that away to figure out later, as the only Konoha missing-nin he was aware of was Itachi. "Not to kill, but capture, and taken to Konoha for his crimes. His name is Uchiha Itachi. You would be heavily compensated of course," Jiraiya flipped to Itachi's page in the bingo book and showed him._

 _His eye roved over it for a couple seconds before smiling, "Hmm… Nah."_

 _Jiraiya blinked._

" _I don't kill innocent men."_

Inoichi sighed, "Thankfully we three and the Hokage are the only ones that know of this report or else there'd be mayhem."

"Mass panic for sure," Anko snickered, chewing slowly on a dumpling.

"One thing we can be certain about," Ibiki started, grimacing down at the picture of Hatake Kakashi giving a big smile and peace sign in the bingo book, "this man is not to be underestimated."

* * *

Bingo Book:

Basic Information:

Name: Hatake Kakashi

Age: 22~26

Height: 5.7~6

Former Village: N/A

Village Rank: N/A

Personal Data:

N/A

Missions Completed:

B-rank: 13 known

A-rank: 25 known

S-rank: 7 known

Advanced Data:

N/A

Criminal Data:

Criminal Rank: S-rank

Status: Active

Organization: N/A

Alliances: N/A

Wanted for: Infiltrating Sunagakure

Other Information:

Worth: 2,000,000 ryo

Flee on sight

* * *

 **A/N: Please comment! Love to hear what you think :3**

 **And i am so bad at trying to make Jiraiya subtle hahahaha. So sorry for that. But writing Kakashi is so fun. He's such a troll.**


	3. Mangekyo Sharingan puts you into therapy

**A/N: So, updating again, surprise! I have to keep this wave of muse-ness going or else I'll stagnate haha. ;)**

 **I've been waiting for this one! You guys finally get to see team 7. (Currently 10 yrs old, a couple more months before they turn 11)**

 **Enjoy~**

* * *

"My god, you _killed_ Kakashi-sensei!"

"I-I did not!"

"Hn. Dobe."

"See, even Sasuke agrees with me!"

A voice cleared their throat before three bickering students in the back of the group. They stopped suddenly and turned to Umino Iruka, faces betraying nothing but innocence. His eyebrow rose in complete disbelief. A few months ago this wouldn't have happened. In fact, he didn't even know _how_ it happened. Just one day they were thick as thieves, even if the Uchiha acted like he didn't know the two of them when they were obnoxious.

"Who did Naruto kill?" Iruka stated dryly.

Sakura smiled sweetly, "Ah, this plant that I got him for his upcoming birthday." A sad, wistful expression crosses her visage, "Poor Mr. Ukki. Died before he even really got to live." Then she shot a glare towards Naruto, who hid on the other side of Sasuke.

"Hn." Was all Sasuke's reply, but well, Umino didn't expect more than that honestly. Naruto nodded his head along so hard he almost tipped forward. If Iruka hadn't known them practically all their lives he may have believed them. Yet something told him he really didn't want to know, so he brushed it off.

"…I see. Now, this is meant to be a survival outing, which means you have to pay attention to potential attackers. Huddling in a group will only get you killed, like poor Mr. Ukki. _Do I make myself clear?!"_

They all nodded, eyes wide.

Iruka could hear Naruto 'whisper' to the other three, "Man, he's _still_ scary, even now." He didn't have to look back to know the others were in agreement. A small smile crossed his lips, and then he called to the rest of the class in the camp that had been not so discreetly listening in.

"That goes for the rest of you also! Get back to your chores, now!"

Back behind the others the three huddled once again, not really bothered at the thought of missing-nin. Naruto would hear them coming a mile away anyways. Sakura glared at the blond, causing him to whimper, "I can't believe you! Testing space-time seals when were all smashed is literally the worst thing you can do!"

"Uhhh, but Sakura-chan, you agreed to it—," He stopped when he saw the murderous look on her face, and giggled breathlessly, "and it was definitely not your fault. Nope."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, making many fan girls in the background gasp (they had never seen _that_ certain expression yet, and so quickly jotted it down in their creepy journals), "It doesn't matter what happened, and it won't solve our problem. So stop fighting."

The pink haired girl fake gasped, hand on her heart, "Sasuke- _kun,_ telling _us_ not to fight? Am I dreaming?" Naruto snickered behind his hand.

Said boy only kept talking, ignoring his teammate, "Kakashi-sensei is still missing, and none of our searching has turned anything up."

"Lets go over what we know so far," Sakura stated, counting off on her fingers, "He's not in the village, no one's heard of Hatake Kakashi before, or even the White Fang, and he's not a civilian."

"That doesn't leave much," Naruto said, hands behind his head as they gathered firewood a bit away from the rest of the camp.

"He may be a missing-nin?"

Sasuke hummed, "Still, most would have heard of him. Such as some of the jounin."

"You guys never did tell me what happened," The blond inquired, watching as both of his teammates paled. They hadn't let him come along for information gathering, saying something like 'you're not subtle at all Naruto, just look at your fashion sense'. Which, _hey_ , he has great fashion thank you. His father wore a white and red robe for god's sake! Leave his orange alone.

They shared a glance, and Sakura hurriedly talked over him, "Ahhh, we'll have to—," a kunai shot out of the bushes and Sakura's reflexes (the ones she's worked hard for these past five months) kicked in. Small pink tresses fell into her hand, and green eyes narrowed in on the offender. "YOU BASTARD!" Yanking the kunai out of the tree by her head, she instilled some of her chakra into it and threw it back. She kicked off, and flew in after them.

Sasuke glared at Naruto, who sheepishly laughed, "Sorry?"

"You are the worst." The raven-haired boy said, ignoring the distinct crashing and muffled screams of pain coming from the bushes. "Didn't you hear them?"

"…No? Ahahaha," Naruto chuckled.

"She's going to kill you after. Don't you know she wanted to keep it long this time?" The unspoken, _for herself and not for him_ , implied. In her words, 'only strong kunoichi can have long hair'.

Naruto's response was cut off as Sakura came back, a few scratches on her arms (which suspiciously looked like someone had gripped at her arms as she strangled them), ruffled hair, and dragging two missing-nin from Kiri. A smile was on her face, but it was all teeth.

"Sorry Naruto, you're going to have to die."

"W-What? S-Sakura-chan… homicide is a bad idea…" Naruto chuckled, stepping away. He turned to run, but three senbon quickly embedded into the side of his neck and he dropped. Sasuke merely watched it happen, expressionless.

"Hn?"

She smiled again, but less feral, "I thought it was the perfect time for you to 'get' your Sharingan." His eyes shot back to Naruto in an unspoken question. Sakura shrugged, smug smirk tugging at her lips, "I just left a few things out when explaining, is all." _Sadist_ , he thought.

Snorting, Sasuke flipped Naruto over and pulled them out, the blond taking in a deep gasp of breath but was still knocked out. He waved his hand at the two missing-nin and Sakura started setting them up in various positions. "Story?"

"Simple is best," Sakura said, "One attacked me while I was over here gathering firewood," she dropped the pile where her pieces of hair were, "and you two were over here, when another ambushed Naruto, hitting him first." Pointing where Naruto lay, "and you activated your Sharingan and used that to avoid hits and strike his pressure points. Hence why you have no scratches."

Sasuke glanced over the man, impressed that she had thought of everything. He'd never say, but Sakura's cold deduction and analysis skills had always freaked him out a bit. The chuunin she had knocked out even corroborated her story, unconscious out by pressure points and even carried senbon. "Mangekyou?"

She tilted her head, but then shook her head, "No, if we need to in a pinch, we can say it must have activated but neither of us knew. Just thought you had gained the three tomoe. If they know about the Mangekyou now, they'd put you in therapy for one, and pull you out of class." Cool green eyes assessed the two men laying down, "Check them for bingo books. Any information will be helpful. And if they have some from other countries also, all the better." He barely had time to slip three bingo books into his pocket and steal a few poison vials (Sakura would appreciate that later) before Iruka was there.

Brown eyes scanned for more threats, but noticing the two knocked out missing-nin and Naruto on the ground surrounded by them made him suck in a breath. "Is he…?"

"Fine sir," Sakura's lip wobbled, "We're so glad you're here! Naruto was hit first with some senbon but I remember reading that it could knock someone out if in the correct spot. So when I looked over him I was relieved that they merely put him in a sleeping death." Iruka nodded, knowing that she had started training under some medic-nin a few months ago.

Sasuke was holding onto Naruto's shoulder, and when he tilted his head up three red tomoe spun as they settled on the teacher. "I…" His hand gripped harder, and he took a deep breath. "I thought he died."

Iruka grimaced, and quickly walked over, "We'll have to end the survival exercise, Sakura go alert Mizuki-sensei to tell him it's a red alert. He'll know what to do." She nodded and ran off at a brisk pace.

After she was gone and the chuunin tied up with chakra limiters, Iruka placed his hand gently on Sasuke's arm, eyes soft, "Sasuke, Naruto's going to be fine. I know you three have recently become friends, which I can never thank you enough for," Iruka glanced down at the blond, "but it's okay to be scared. It's okay to not want to be brave. But I'm so proud of you both for protecting your friend. That's what makes shinobi grow strong. You two were the reason Naruto survived. Don't blame yourself for anything else, alright?"

Sasuke looked up at him, and wondered if this had happened the first time would he have done all the things he did? He didn't even have to fake the gratitude on his face. Iruka-sensei really was a good man, and a better shinobi (better than he had been), chuunin teacher or not. "Okay… Iruka-sensei."

The man smiled gently, "Come on, I'll take them and follow you back to camp."

When Sasuke walked towards the other people at camp, he mumbled quietly, knowing Iruka would hear him, "Thanks, sensei."

* * *

When Naruto came to he was looking up at a white ceiling. "Oh god, was that all a dream?"

A snort next to him made the blond tilt his head; Sasuke and Sakura were there, "Nope, you're just an idiot."

"Hn." The two shared a look and a nod. Naruto pouted.

Sakura started chatting about how worried she was, and Sasuke started signing in the coded hand signs they had made up after the war. Naruto's face showed dawning understanding, knowing that there were ANBU outside watching. The blond sniffed, and signed '5'. When the situation was explained as well as it could be through hand signs, Naruto nodded.

"Sakura," Sasuke cut in, "The nurses should be alerted he's awake." Sakura rolled her eyes, like the ANBU hadn't told them already, but like the pre-genin she was she got up and called for one. Two bustled in and shooed them away. Leaving them to work, Sasuke and Sakura left to wait at the main entrance.

Luckily, Naruto was released after some questions and a checkup. They went to Sasuke's house right after grabbing some Ichiraku's to go. The Uchiha district was the best place they could be for some privacy, most ANBU were reluctant to go onto clan territory unless ordered. The shoji door closed behind them, and Naruto placed a seal up. "So, you basically used me as a way to explain your Sharingan. You guy's suck."

"We had to do it sometime. And a shinobi always takes advantage of an opening." Naruto shot her a dirty look.

"It was the easiest way to explain it. Dobe." Sasuke smirked, humor in his eyes. "Unless you _want_ to be thrown into T&I?"

He shivered, "No thanks, they seem stressed enough over something as it is. Very well, I forgive you both."

"Mhm." Sakura rolled her eyes, "We found some bingo books on their bodies, and took them before Iruka-sensei got there. We _graciously_ waited till you were out of the hospital."

"Gee, thanks." Naruto stated sarcastically.

"No problem." The blonde's eyebrow twitched, laughter rumbled through the back of his head, which caused him to murmur _'shut up, Kurama'_.

Sasuke flicked through one, set it aside, and grabbed another, "Guys…"

"Find something Sasuke?"

"Yeah, it's bad." He set the bingo book down in front of them, showing the stupid picture of Kakashi-sensei while being pursued by Suna's ANBU equivalent. "That idiot."

Naruto gasped, "Look," at the bottom it stated why he was wanted, "He's a missing-nin?"

"No," Sakura said, frown on her face, "See his hitai-ate? It says Shinobi!"

They shared a glance, Naruto forming a grin, Sakura and Sasuke just smiling. "He's _our_ Kakashi-sensei!"

"See! See! I told you I didn't kill him!" Naruto crowed, poking both of them. While Sakura started bickering, Sasuke picked the book up again and flicked through it.

"You definitely did though, he—," Sakura was broken off by Sasuke's hand prodding her shoulder. "What?"

"We… have a problem."

"What could be more troublesome than Kakashi-sensei not being a Konoha shinobi?"

"This."

Another bingo page showed the face of Uchiha Obito, _both_ Mangekyou Sharingan staring out at them.

* * *

 **A/N: CLIFFHANGER! :3 muahahahahaha, i'm evil I know.**

 **Comments are love ;)**


	4. Mediocre ANBU are still ANBU

**A/N: :D Another one! I know, it's crazy. I'm just ridin' this wave man. ;)**

 **Oh, keep in mind they're all like 29-33ish when they time travel (around the time Kakashi passed the hat to Naruto) so they're a little more mature, and have better deductive skills. Not to mention, they have inside information on personalities and such. Also, I'm totally ignoring canon pairings (except Kurenai/Asuma, and possibly Temari/Shikamaru).**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Konoha**

"It could be a problem, but I don't believe it will be." Sakura said, eyes skimming the page.

"Why's that, Sakura-chan?"

"Think about it dobe," Sasuke explained haughtily, "If he wasn't crushed under the rock like Kakashi-sensei told us, then Madara never found him. The lack of scars on his face and Akatsuki cloak prove it. So he must not have any Senju cells either, or the Mokuton. Which could mean a lot of things, that he left on his own free will, even turned bad by himself."

"…Or he was framed." The pinkette murmured to herself, gaining the boys' attention. "Look here at the bottom, under criminal data it says he's wanted for the murder of Uchiha Inabi at Kannabi Bridge and escaping Konoha while a warrant was out for his arrest. There's nothing else."

At the name Sasuke growled, "Tch. I wouldn't blame him for killing that filth. He accused Aniki of killing Shisui in our time, and he's never been the nicest person. Sadist barely covers what he is."

Sakura hummed, "Still, if they were on a mission, why come back to Konoha after supposedly murdering a person of your clan? Something doesn't sit right with me. Kakashi-sensei used to tell us how mentally strong Obito was until Madara broke him by watching Sensei kill Rin. _That_ Obito wouldn't kill someone for no reason, especially his own comrade. No, I don't think he murdered him at all. This stinks of…"

All three grimaced, " _Danz_ _ō._ "

"I don't understand why Danzō would want him arrested for murder." Naruto said, brows scrunching together in thought.

"He's obsessed with Sharingan, especially powerful ones like Obito's, that have the Mangekyou. If he could get him in a position where he'd be weakened enough that he could take them, such as the T&I, or the Uchiha Station then it'd be easy to say he 'escaped.' Either that or have ROOT get Obito while the warrants out and kill him and cover it up." Sasuke added, arms crossed and staring down at his distant cousin's face. "I don't like this. Things are different here and we have no solid information."

Naruto scratched his neck, "Then who is Madara? If there even is one? Is there? Ugh." He groaned, holding his head in his hands.

"Well… there's two simple ways to find out." Sakura drawled out slowly, "Ask Obito outright, which would probably include us becoming missing-nin ourselves."

"I wouldn't mind, but if dobe over here became a missing-nin, Konoha wouldn't sleep until he was back. And it would make Konoha look weak, as their jinchuuriki would be gone, which would cause more attacks." It went without saying how they didn't want that to happen. And as much as they desired to go after Kakashi-sensei also, the same essential thing would happen.

"The other… we break into ROOT's hideout. Get proof."

Naruto gaped, "What if we get caught?! We don't even know for sure if Danzō is behind this."

A pink eyebrow raised, "Naruto, asking before we go headfirst into trouble? Are you feeling alright?"

"Hn."

"Shut up you guys!" He grumbled, "I'm just sayin'. This is different. We're not in peak condition. If we get into a pinch we'll be screwed. Then we'll _really_ have to become missing-nin."

"And then we have a reason to go after Kakashi-sensei," Sakura stated firmly.

"Guess that's settled."

"B-But— ahhh forget it!" The blond said, pouting. "For being your Hokage you sure don't like to listen to me."

Both snorted, and Sasuke taunts, "You were Hokage for one night, idiot."

Sakura cut them off before they devolved into an actual spar, "Focus, we have things to plan."

"Hn."

"Alright!"

"First things first, now that we know Kakashi-sensei isn't in the village we have no reason to wait for him to become our sensei. If we graduate early, we'll have more freedom to grow, and _then_ we can break into ROOT's hideout."

"If we test out early, we'll also be guaranteed to be on a team." Sasuke added, finger tapping his knee. "There's one thing though."

"What's that, bastard?"

"Naruto will fail without a proper reason for him having learned the Kage Bunshin."

Sakura frowned, "Damn. How are we supposed to orchestrate that?! The Sharingan is one thing, but learning a forbidden technique that's only on the scroll in the Hokage tower?"

Naruto snickered, crossing his arms with a smug smile. "You guys are thinking way too hard about this. It's simple."

"Then tell us, O Mighty Nanadaime-sama." Sakura drawled, humor in her tone.

The blond puffed his chest up, "I'll just ask him of course."

Sakura and Sasuke just stared. "…Do you really think that'll work?"

"If I say that Sakura-chan explained that I'll never be able to do a regular clone because of my chakra reserves and suggest that I learn something that takes more chakra, it shouldn't be too much of a problem. If not, then we'll have to wait until we're twelve and graduate with the rest. Using Mizuki as cover for me knowing the technique."

* * *

 **Earth Country**

Maybe it was the blond hair, or the bedraggled look on the kid's face that made Kakashi help. Whatever it was, he was almost regretting it. Six ANBU from Iwagakure were gaining on them, as Kakashi had to drag a half-beaten kid along. Three were already knocked out or out of commission in a clearing a ways back. "Hurry, Pakkun and the gang'll lay some false trails, but we have to get across the border or else they'll just keep following." He quickly did the Kuchiyose no Jutsu and gave the pack his instructions. They jumped off and started to work.

"Oi, why are you helping me, yeah?"

Kakashi forced himself not to stumble at the verbal tick, and finally turned to get a good look at the kid next to him. Deidara was staring at him as they ran, not quite out of breath. A glance showed that he wasn't in Akatsuki uniform, but there was a slash right through his Iwa hitai-ate. So he hadn't been approached and beaten by Itachi yet, therefore not a dire threat.

Deidara's one visible eyebrow twitched, "I'm not a girl if that's what you're staring at me for."

Kakashi shot him a dry look; "I believe I can tell a man from a woman. Just seemed familiar is all." The other shrugged, but his muscles were less tense, showing that it pleased Deidara that he wasn't mistaken for a woman. If Kakashi had to guess, what with the long hair and slimmer than normal figure, it happened a lot. He chuckled, "If you don't want to be taken as a woman, cut your hair. Or shave it."

"I would never, yeah!" He thumbed a strand of his hair in horror. Kakashi sped up, and the boy hurried to catch up. They were a few minutes from the border, and he hoped they'd make it.

"Boss," Pakkun suddenly appeared at his side. "Four split and took the trails. They'll be lost long enough to get to the border, but two followed."

He hummed, "Could be worse." Patting the little dog's head he nodded, and the summon disappeared.

"Could be worse?" Deidara asked, giving him a once over, he jokingly said, "You barely look like you could handle one!"

"Then by comparison you couldn't handle any at all." Kakashi pointed out, making the blond blush and bristle all at the same time. It was almost like having Naruto back by his side. He stopped suddenly, "Now watch and learn, brat."

"Oi!" Deidara yelled, but Kakashi was already focused on the two shinobi closing in on them.

If it came down to it he'd use his Sharingan, but that was still carefully hidden from the rest of the world. Showing it would mean these two wouldn't survive, and he didn't really have anything against people doing their job. Within seconds the first engaged Kakashi with lightning quick taijutsu. The other circled in the trees, waiting patiently for an opening.

A huge wave of earth came towards him from the right, and Kakashi sunk into the ground within seconds, avoiding the collision. On the way up he only managed to drag one foot of the taijutsu expert in to the knee. The earth bent to his will, leaving him standing behind the man as he struggled to get out. He flicked through Kanashibari no Jutsu and paralyzed the man long enough to knock him out with a jab to the neck.

He felt the other behind him, and right as he used Kawarimi to teleport a little to the left, the ANBU's right arm blew off to Deidara's 'Katsu'. Kakashi quickly used the opportunity to slap a chakra suppressor and knock out tag on him. "Hm, when'd you plant that on him?"

Deidara huffed, "When you were underground and he was jumping towards your direction. The old man is really off his game if he sent these mediocre ANBU after me without warning them of my jutsu, yeah."

"The mediocre ANBU that managed to corner you?" Kakashi asked, smugness practically emanating from him.

He pouted, "There were like three teams after me then! Let's just go." Snickering, Kakashi nodded and they slipped through the border into the land of Fire. It took another half-day's travel before Kakashi believed them secure. He still laid traps and false trails, Deidara watching in fascination all the while, as one can never be too sure with ANBU. After the sun dipped in the sky they found a relatively decent inn that wasn't against housing missing-nin.

Deidara eyed him as they walked into their room, "So what's the deal, yeah? Save me, gain my trust and kill me in my sleep?" It went without saying that even though Deidara joked about Kakashi not looking strong, he had taken four of them down within seconds (He kept telling himself that he wasn't on his top game after having to escape Iwagakure – that's all, he totally coulda taken them, yeah!). The man may not seem like much with his slouched form and silver-gray hair, but he'd seen how his posture had screamed 'predator' in the middle of a battle.

"Why would I go to the trouble of saving you if I wanted you dead?" He said as he unpacked some extra clothes and unscented soaps from a sealed scroll. "Now, I don't know about how little boys in Iwa do it, but generally when you're dirty you get cleaned up." With that Kakashi shoved them towards the boy, "The clothes are around your size, if not a bit bigger."

Deidara stared at him; the one eye showing was wide. "…Why are you giving me this, yeah? I'm just a stranger to you."

Kakashi leaned against the window as he worked on some traps and seals to keep undesirables out. "Maa, you look like another whose lost on the road of life. And those lost should always be helped to find their way." He didn't think about another bright blond boy with sparkling blue eyes. It made him miss them too much. They wouldn't know him now, as much as it pained him.

"What does that even mean?" Deidara questioned, and Kakashi didn't have to turn around to know he had a baffled expression.

He merely waved a hand towards the shower door in a dismissive manner, "Shoo, I can smell you from here."

"I'm totally gonna blow you up in your sleep, yeah," Deidara grumbled, but made his way to where Kakashi pointed anyways.

* * *

 **A/N: And a wild Deidara appears! Lol**

 **So it's around this year that Orochimaru leaves Akatsuki according to some timelines. Thus Itachi is supposed to go after Deidara who had just defected and get him to join Akatsuki. I think this actually happens around the time Hanzo dies, but i'm making it happen a little later, so Deidara had just turned fourteen. Okay? Because the Naruto timeline is a bloody mess of epic proportions and i'm taking creative license due to this being fanfiction.**

 **BTW, Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto are all speculating based on their knowledge of Obito, Danzo, and the events that could/should and did happened.**

 **I'm not so sure about this chapter, so later i may go back and fix it once i'm further with the story. But eh, if i dont want to get caught here i gotta move on ;)**

 **Hope you enjoyed, and please comment to tell me what you liked or disliked!**


	5. All good shinobi are mentally unstable

**A/N: Obito will eventually be popping up in the future, and no, Kakashi does not know that he's in the bingo book. Otherwise he'd definitely be tracking him down lol.**

 **Enjoy Deidara's POV~**

* * *

 **Deidara**

Deidara wasn't quite sure what to think of the man. Sometimes Kakashi was completely different, deeper, and more solemn, than the role he played during the day. The next he'd be infuriating and driving Deidara up a wall, telling him all the while, "Look underneath the underneath Deidara." It was obvious the man was crazy.

But…

Deidara had left his village because there was no more room for him to grow there, so he had taken the kinjustsu and fled. It had taken days of fighting and fleeing before he had thought them lost, but three squads attacked and Deidara was at the end of his rope. Then Kakashi had shown up, taken one squad down in a few moves, and dispersed the ANBU's solid formation to grab Deidara.

Kakashi had saved him when there had been no reason for him to help someone he didn't know. Gave him food, clothes, and protection. It was strange; he was still here a week later. Deidara had meant to leave, multiple times (Really, he did). Though, Kakashi never said a word to him about if he should leave or not, merely accepted his presence with something akin to humor and sadness.

"Oi, Kakashi, what village did you come from, hm?" It had been bothering him lately.

The other man flicked a page past and kept reading. "Why do you want to know, my little minion?"

Deidara glared, "You have a headband that only says Shinobi. I've never seen anythin' like it." A scowl formed on his lips, "And I'm not your minion, you old man."

Kakashi chuckled, "I taught you the Raiton Kage Bunshin the other day." Leaning back in his seat on the tree above their camp, he looked down at Deidara.

"So?" He asked, aggravated with Kakashi's seemingly random replies.

"That makes me a teacher, and you my student. _Minion_ ," Kakashi smiled.

Deidara looked at him, mouth dropped open. Closed it. Then opened it again trying to find a fault in his reasoning. "That's…"

"Now, I'm quite partial to Kakashi-sensei, but Kakashi-senpai is just as good."

He growled in frustration, then threw his hands up and stormed away from the exasperating man. Deidara could hear him snickering as he walked away. It was only later; when he laid in his sleeping bag that Deidara realized Kakashi never answered his question about where he grew up. Obviously the man didn't want to talk about it, which Deidara could respect, but that didn't stop him from wondering. Was he from any village at all? Did he desert his home as well? Why?

Another two weeks passed and Deidara eventually had his mind full of training and keeping ahead of the ANBU the Tsuchikage was sending out. Kakashi and him had travelled a week past the border they'd crossed and then doubled back towards Kusa's. The man said he had business out that way, and it also served to help the trackers lose their trail.

They went to a small bustling village still technically in Fire's borders. Deidara gave Kakashi a questioning look, but he just kept reading his book. Which the blond had been disturbed to realize was porn. His sens—no! The man he was traveling with (definitely not training under) walked into a nondescript alleyway that most wouldn't have been able to spot easily. Deidara wondered if there was a genjutsu covering the entrance, he had admittedly never been good with them. The blond preferred his art to that of the genjutsu masters. His art was an explosion!

Kakashi did something with his hands, Deidara suspected hand signs, that were too fast for him to see (which definitely irked – stupid, infuriating man). The wall moved and he peered down to see stairs descending into the ground, barely visible in the dark. Deidara sighed, "Are you finally going to tell me where we're going, Kakashi?"

An amused glance from over Kakashi's shoulder made Deidara huff. Slowly, he was getting used to the man's teaching, and before Kakashi could say that damnable expression again he started thinking out loud, "Well, it's obviously well protected from civilians and most shinobi. Hand signs and location indicate this is a less than reputable place, possibly one that's by invitation only. Taking your occupation into consideration, I'd say we were at some mission post or seedy underground meeting place."

"Maa, Deidara, that was beautiful. You almost brought a tear to my eye, finally thinking for yourself." Kakashi sniffled with exaggeration, and his hand was on Deidara's hair, ruffling it, before he even saw him move.

His eyebrow twitched, but Deidara breathed in and out a couple times to gain control over his emotions. Kakashi had used his anger to direct their conversation before, and this was a perfect way to train himself. After all, opponents in the field will taunt and say whatever it takes to get an advantage. He needs to be able to stay calm and composed at all times.

And… if he can put up with Kakashi without breaking, Deidara damn well thought he'd be able to put up with anyone.

"Aa." Was all he replied. Kakashi hummed, rocking back on the balls of his feet with humor radiating from his body, and then walked down without saying a word.

Deidara sighed again, but followed closely behind. It didn't take long before they entered into what was definitely a seedy underground bar. There was a board in the background that his keen blue eyes spied. As they got further in he noticed the stares. It'd take an idiot not to realize how much attention Kakashi was getting. Deidara shifted uneasily, stance ready for possible danger. A hand drew him closer to Kakashi, and when he looked up it was one of those moments that Deidara could hardly breath because of the look in the man's eye.

His voice was quiet, and only for Deidara's ears, "Don't worry yourself over things that've yet to happen. I don't abandon comrades." Then he moved on, posture slouching again, that steady, powerful certainty in Kakashi's voice no longer present as he addressed the barkeeper. "Ah, Kinji-san. How's the kid?"

Deidara blinked, feeling like the world had paused for seconds. The tension in the room no longer felt oppressive, and he stepped towards where Kakashi was. How had the jerk even been able to tell how Deidara was feeling when he wasn't even looking at him?!

Kinji looked resigned to Kakashi's presence, and the silver haired man took obvious pleasure in it. "Lil brats doin' better. Still outta school for fighting though." As he said it, there was a sliver of pride in Kinji's voice.

"Maa, glad to hear that."

"Hmm," Kinji said, "Now what're you doing back so soon? I thought you had to go all the way into Western Earth Country?"

A scroll appeared and was placed on the counter before Kinji. Kakashi patted it fondly, "Quite the difficult find I'll tell you. Took me almost a week just to get it. I'd have been back two weeks ago but had to lose a couple ANBU squads. My own brat didn't help with that." Deidara glared at the finger pointed towards him. Kinji took in his appearance; Iwa hitai-ate slashed, and sighed.

"…I don't know why I'm still surprised by what you do. You certainly must live an interesting life." The barkeeper said, head shaking.

"More like certifiably insane," Deidara muttered, earning a chuckle from both of them.

"Let me check it for authenticity and gather your reward. Stay put." Kinji went through a door back behind the bar and disappeared within seconds.

Kakashi turned and leaned on the bar, looking into the crowd of faces. Deidara did the same, but sent a few sideways glances. "I'll teach you the hand signs later."

The blond tilted his head towards the man, looking at him curiously, "Sure. But why bother if I'll be with you, yeah?"

He smiled, "Well how will you get in when you _aren't_ with me?"

Could Kakashi never answer a question straight out? _A simple yes or no would be wonderful_ , Deidara thought. But then he stopped to think about what Kakashi had asked. It's not like he'd stay with him forever, would it? Deidara subconsciously smacked himself; he was here to get stronger! If that meant staying with Kakashi for a while longer, well, what was the harm? He'd leave eventually.

With his thoughts settled he answered, "In that case, I'll learn it."

Before anything else was said, Kakashi left to grab something off the board and returned just as Kinji walked back out. Deidara watched as they finalized the deal and followed Kakashi out of the bar and back into the streets.

* * *

 **Konoha**

"My name is Yakamura Toshi," The man before them said. "You may call me Yakamura-sens—,"

"Wait, wait, wait," Naruto interrupted, hands waving to silence the man, "That's it?"

"No test?" Sakura piped in.

Sasuke grunted. "No psychological manipulation?"

"Not any sort of assessment?" Naruto didn't even wait for an answer before turning towards Sakura and Sasuke with frown. They shrugged. Turning back to face the bland man, he questioned, "Ne, Toshi, are you a jounin?"

The man glared, "Of course. And it's _Yakamura-sensei_."

Sakura tapped her lip with a slim finger, looking the man over, "He's way too plain. No spandex or even a tilted headband."

Sasuke nodded, "Hn." Yakamura's scowl grew, as the one word seemed to convey complete dismissal.

"I bet… he's even…"

" _Mentally stable_." They echoed together, staring at Yakamura.

Naruto nodded, "Definitely not a jounin. Let's go tell the old man we need an actual sensei."

"Tch, came out here for nothing, let's just grab some groceries and go home, dobe." Sasuke grunted, heaving himself off the ground to trail after Sakura and Naruto. The pink haired girl stretched, yawning a bit.

"Why not stop and grab some Ichiraku's with me? Or maybe Yakiniku Q?"

"Yeah! Ramen, ramen, ramen~!" He sang, skipping merrily away from their dumbfounded 'sensei'.

Yakamura growled, and yelled after them, "We meet tomorrow at 6am on training ground 4!" The three continued on, completely ignoring the screaming man a ways back.

Naruto sighed after they got Ichiraku's to go and headed to Sasuke's, "I don't like the guy."

"Didn't even give us a test!" Sakura snarled, fist pounding into her hand. "Bet he just put us through because of Naruto's 'little problem' and Sasuke's the last Uchiha." A glance shot his way showed she didn't mean that statement harshly.

He gave her a small smile and nod; Sasuke had definitely grown up since he was a kid. Being angry only blinded him to the real truth. "I wouldn't doubt it. Although I wonder why the Sandaime put us with some no name."

"That's a good question."

Naruto shrugged, "I dunno. From whom I can think of, Kurenai had just become a jounin a bit before we all graduated and there's not many other genjutsu masters outside of ANBU. While Gai is a highly talented jounin his skill set doesn't match up with Sasuke's or mine, we're mostly ninjutsu based. Anko probably isn't even _allowed_ to have a genin team. Plus she's in the T&I, between that and missions she's gotta be busy. Asuma… well I'm not sure about that one."

"All the Hyuuga jounin would probably be out, they may have a doujutsu but they would not be able to teach me," Sasuke murmured.

"We're not set for a tracking squad, we're more formed toward an assault squad." The pink haired girl sighed, "That's Aburame and Inuzuka's out. Both are tracking, and usually only know their clan jutsu. It's no wonder they gave us some random jounin."

"Without Kakashi this…"

"Yeah."

"Hn."

"It's not as if we actually _need_ a jounin instructor." Naruto said with a devilish gleam in his eyes.

Sasuke contemplated his teammate uneasily, "What are you getting at?" Naruto motioned for them to get closer, and then he whispered his plan to them, grinning all the while. Sakura shrugged when he glanced at her.

"What could it hurt?"

"Exactly!" Naruto crowed, "Just think of it as our own test! A test to see if he's worthy enough to be our sensei!"

The raven-haired boy sighed, pinching his nose, "You realize this means we'll have to wake up early?"

Sakura and Naruto smirked at each other.

* * *

 **A/N: So howd you like a peak into what Deidara was thinking? It's been about two weeks and Team 7 managed to wrangle the Kage Bunshin from Hiruzen and pass their exam (perhaps ill do an omake later about it lol).**

 **I feel like Sasuke came out as a resigned father going along with the whims of his children haha.**

 **Comments are love :3**


	6. An invitation for tea

**A/N** **: You guys are great! Thanks a lot for the awesome comments; they give me lots of motivation ;)**

 **This is fluff and humor. That is all lol.**

 **Back to Kakashi, enjoy~**

* * *

Kakashi chuckled lowly as he looked back at his minion. Deidara was pouting (as he tended to when life didn't go his way) and sulking a few feet back as they flew through the trees. It had taken a little getting used to before the boy was able to jump between the high reaching trees with increasing ease. Seeing as the brat hadn't been too far out of Earth Country before now, it showed how smart Deidara actually was. Teaching him was different than Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura. Those three fed off each other in a way people hadn't seen since the Sannin. Deidara was a prodigy all on his own.

It was amusing to Kakashi that the kid may act angry and upset, yet the next moment he'd be 'discreetly' trailing after Kakashi, watching what he was doing so Deidara could imitate it. Every new trap or seal he put up was questioned, disassembled and reassembled until Deidara felt he knew it enough to at least recognize it, if not use it himself. Any jutsu was treated similarly.

Their relationship was akin to Kakashi's with Team 7, yet different. Deidara could leave at any moment, and Kakashi would let him without hassle (Or so he told himself). There was nothing to really hold the boy here, with him. So Kakashi didn't speak of it, as he tended to drive people away. Plus, any thought of openly speaking of his feelings made him wary. Thankfully Deidara seemed to avoid touchy topics too. Perhaps it was a shinobi thing? Excluding Naruto of course, that boy brought up 'feelings' every time he came upon a new opponent – and somehow got them to also.

But after a few months of solitude, being with Deidara filled some part of his heart. One he didn't even know existed.

"Oiiiii," Deidara mumbled, catching up to run alongside Kakashi. "Can you tell me where we're going _now_ , hm?"

With a gleeful smile Kakashi jumped further ahead. The leaves parted to reveal a small valley town filled with farms surrounding the outside. "Here."

Deidara landed without noise next to him, looking around in interest. "Is something important here?"

Kakashi was almost proud, that was a way better line of questioning than 'why are we here', "You could say that. Important things are often found in the last place we'd expect them."

The blond sighed, pushing a hand through his tangled hair. "Well let's go then."

Snickering, Kakashi walked past him, a specific destination in mind. It didn't take long until a small house came to view, a man standing outside working the fields. As they came closer, Sakumo stood up and faced them, eyes wide upon sighting Kakashi. He tensed at the possibility of his father telling him to leave (He had left so soon the last time).

"Yo," Kakashi waved.

Deidara stared at the man for a moment, glanced between them multiple times, taking in the same hair, eyes, and facial structure before he burst out, "Your old man is a fucking _farmer?!_ " Somehow, Deidara's loud proclamation made Kakashi relax, a low laugh escaping from his mouth. This only served to make the brat more stunned. "You laughed!" Sakumo and Kakashi shot the boy an eerily similar eyebrow raise. That unnerved Deidara further, as he blurted, "I mean, you've chuckled, snickered, even giggled! But never laughed! And I should know, I've been with you for weeks, yeah." There was clear wonder in his tone.

Kakashi laughed again, shoulders easing as he reached to ruffle Deidara's hair. "Yes, my father is a farmer. Don't take that as a means to underestimate him or others, that's how mistakes happen." The boy nodded, eyebrows creased, taking it so seriously Kakashi had to stifle another laugh. Sakumo watched all the while, softening at the sight.

His father smiled at Deidara, "Come in, you must be famished. I may be a mere farmer, but that doesn't mean I lack for anything either." With that he bustled them into the small house, seating them at his table. The boy still had an air of wonderment around him, making him look so much more his true age than the somber expressions he so often wore. "So, how did this happen?" Sakumo gestured between the two of them.

"I picked him up in a box by the road," Kakashi said dryly, one elbow leaned on the table.

"That's not even remotely true," Deidara scowled as Sakumo hid his chuckles behind his hands. "More like he kidnapped me."

"Oh?"

"Maa, you were in distress. How could I not help?"

Kakashi watched as Deidara crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "I was not in distress, I would have escaped."

"I'm sure you could have," He said in a patronizing tone, snickering when Deidara started twitching. "They were only mediocre ANBU."

"You…" Deidara growled, one fist shaking towards him.

"So," Sakumo cut in, sipping at his tea, "In essence you were getting pursued by ANBU and Kakashi helped you out. I'm assuming it's because of your status as a missing-nin from Iwa?"

Both of them blinked and turned to the older man. Deidara looked at him before turning to face his father again, echoing Kakashi's earlier words, "You could say that."

Smirking, Kakashi leaned back, "My cute minion's been following me since." Deidara didn't bother to refute anything, just drank some of his tea.

"I see. Sounds like you two have had an exciting past few weeks," Sakumo said, smiling at them. "I hope you'll stay for dinner this time." The last line was pointedly aimed towards Kakashi, making him chuckle nervously.

"Ahem, yes we will. We—," Kakashi cut himself off, head tilting. "Ah, seems like someone was waiting for us here after all." He stood, giving his father a nod.

"I'll put dinner on while you go deal with that, son." Sakumo told him, rising to go grab what he needed. They exited the house, going further away to where the chakra signature lay.

Deidara followed along behind him, curious as to whom it was. Most likely some ANBU had found them. "You said 'after all', does that mean you've known they were here this whole time?"

"Hm, there were no signs, but my instincts were telling me someone was there. Shinobi tend to develop them if they stay alive long enough." Kakashi stopped a ways away from the tree line, keen eyes peering into the leaves. It was far enough away from the village that Kakashi didn't have to worry about civilians. "This person researched about me enough to figure out my father or relative lived here based on the same last name and looks. They assumed that I'd eventually be back."

"What do we do now?"

"Why, introduce ourselves of course. Not everything has to become a fight," Kakashi lightly scolded. Then he yelled out to the woods, "Hello~"

Kakashi could practically _feel_ the unease coming from the shinobi in the woods. They waited a few moments before stepping out from their hiding place. The young woman had dark mahogany colored hair twisted back into a braid, bangs brushing the sides of her face. Unlike a typical Suna uniform, she wore mostly blacks and greens, most likely to blend into Fire Country. She was of average height, and had sharp cheekbones with tanned skin. A Suna hitai-ate was wrapped around her forehead, shadowing two dark green eyes. It was odd though, that she was by herself. If the kunoichi had wanted Kakashi's bounty she would probably have attacked while he was outside with his father. And normally, recon teams were with at least two people.

Deidara shifted, and Kakashi held up a hand for him to still. "Maa, what business do you have with me, Kunoichi-san?"

The woman stared at him for a moment, tense as a bowstring, "You are Hatake Kakashi, yes?"

He didn't see any problem with telling her, so he nodded. "Yeah, that's me."

"I am Asuga of the sand," She bowed deeply towards him, making Kakashi blink in surprise. This definitely wasn't like his other run in's with Suna-nin.

"And?"

Asuga flushed and straightened, "Right." With a firm nod and a cough she spoke, "The Kazekage-sama has sent me to give you this, please do not be alarmed," Asuga reached for her pocket, pulling out a small scroll slowly. "I will throw it to you now, Hatake-san."

He hummed, and a clone grabbed it out of the air a couple feet in front of him, checking for traps. It seemed clean so he opened it and read the letter addressed to him. Kakashi's disbelief grew with each word he read. By the end of it his eyebrows were almost to his hairline, and he glanced back up at the kunoichi.

"What's it say, yeah?"

Asuga finally took in the small blond teenager beside him, confusion showing at his presence. Shaking her head, she faced Kakashi, "Kazekage-sama told me to wait for a return message unless dismissed."

That amused him, and a chuckle slipped through his lips, "…So if I don't dismiss you and you don't get a message, you'll just stay here?" The dawning horror on the young woman's face was priceless.

Deidara pinched his nose, "Kakashi, _no_."

"Ah, you're no fun, Deidara- _kun_." He teased, rolling the scroll back up.

"Stop harassing the kunoichi. Anyone would be terrified to spend time with you." _Which really_ , Deidara thought, _what was up with this situation?_ Only Kakashi.

"I don't bite," Kakashi said.

The boy eyed him with exasperation. "I don't think that's what she's worried about. What's Suna want from you? You did something, didn't you?" Apparently his little minion didn't know of his bingo book page.

He smiled innocently, "Why do you think I did something? Maybe the Kazekage just wants to invite me for tea. Randomly. And for no reason."

Poor Asuga's face was twisting more and more with each sentence leaving Kakashi's mouth. Deidara shot her a commiserating glance; he'd been in her place more than enough to understand how she was feeling. "You've got that look about you."

"Maa, so little faith in your sensei." Kakashi looked at Asuga. "Kids these days," He stated in a 'what can you do' kind of way, then shrugged and turned to walk back to his father's house.

"What are you doing?" Deidara asked, shooting glances at the girl and him.

Kakashi pointed towards the house, "I'm going to eat dinner of course." He peered over his shoulder at the lost looking woman, "You're welcome to come along, Tou-san wont mind guests."

" _Tou-san?_ " Asuga murmured. Paling at the thought of this mans father, Asuga braced herself and walked after him. She had known there was a relative in this town, but had been under orders to stay out of the town until Hatake came. And until this strange man dismissed her, she'd have to wait for his letter… while eating dinner… with an S-ranked shinobi's _father._ This wasn't exactly how she imagined she'd die.

Deidara seemed to brighten at the mention of Sakumo (or perhaps dinner), and hurried behind them. Kakashi shot him an approving nod, as this caged in any possible threat she could pose. The time was spent in silence, only filled by Kakashi's slight humming as he read his book.

Sakumo welcomed them at the door, scanning the new arrival, and then turned to Kakashi. "Another one?"

He shrugged, "This one's here to visit."

"Ah, please, come in. I'm Hatake Sakumo." Sakumo gestured for her to enter, which she did wearily. He gently led her to the table, grabbing a fourth cup to pour tea into. "Here you are young lady."

"Asuga of the sand," She replied, staring intently at Sakumo.

"Something wrong, Asuga-san?"

"You are… not what I expected." She said dryly. Asuga tensed momentarily as Kakashi and Deidara sat down.

"Tell me about it," Deidara muttered, throwing his ponytail over his shoulder with a huff.

Sakumo laughed, "Well I'm sorry to disappoint." Carefully, he set a pot in the middle of the table. Four bowls were handed out with spoons. "Help yourselves. Traveling is much more strenuous than most think."

Asuga watched as Kakashi and Deidara took some, making sure they each took a bite before grabbing some herself. The rest of the dinner passed with awkwardness emanating from Asuga, while Kakashi chatted as if nothing was wrong at all.

"If you do not mind me asking, Kakashi, what interest does this young lady have with you?"

Kakashi almost choked at the insinuation, "She's an envoy from Suna. That's _all_ , Tou-san." Asuga flushed bright red, staring down into her almost finished soup.

Sakumo pouted, and seemed to deflate. Teasingly he added, "That's too bad. A cute kunoichi like this is perfect to carry on the family line with!" A gleam came to his eyes, "Unless there already is…"

Kakashi gawked at his father, shaking his head in a firm 'No', which made Deidara burst into laughter. He leaned over, clutching his stomach, and pounded his hand on the table. When the boy looked back up towards Kakashi, he was rewarded with a fierce glare that made Deidara chuckle harder.

"Hmm," Sakumo sighed, and then turned to the blushing kunoichi, "If not for that, then what does Suna want from my son?"

Straightening, she said, "A meeting, Sakumo-san."

"So the Kazekage does want a meeting with you, yeah?" Deidara asked Kakashi.

"Yep," He said, setting the empty bowl on the table. Kakashi gave Deidara the scroll, and he quickly read it.

"You're wanted in Suna?" Deidara didn't even seem surprised. "And he wants to meet with you on neutral terms outside of Suna?"

"Yep."

"…We're going to Suna, aren't we."

"Yep."

* * *

 **Omake 1**

" _All_ three of them passed?" Hiruzen asked, disbelief in his countenance. He leaned back in his chair, "How curious." A puff of smoke exited his mouth, as the Hokage stared down at the three files of newly made genin.

"Yes, Hokage-sama." Iruka said, grin on his face and a new headband was on his forehead. He had given his to Naruto when he graduated. "With flying colors. It seems that Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto all benefited from becoming friends. Naruto's scores on his exams skyrocketed, and Sakura's taijutsu improved remarkably fast. And Sasuke got something more precious from them, as he gained bonds with kids his age. I almost didn't recognize him after a month."

The Hokage hummed, tapping his pipe against his mouth. It seemed that giving Naruto access to the Kage Bunshin was the correct thing to do.

Iruka paused, "Hokage-sama, if I may ask, who's going to be their sensei?"

"You'll find out in due time, Iruka." He said, thinking to himself, _when I actually figure out._

* * *

 **A/N: So there's that! Why do you think Rasa wants to meet with Kakashi?**

 **And next time, Yakamura trying to survive Team 7's hazing. Failing? Succeeding? Ending up in a mental hospital? Who knows? I certainly don't lol.**


	7. Always repay your debts threefold

**A/N: Yo *** **waves** ***, the time has come. Team 7 GOOOO!**

 **They're just so fun to write, and I thought it was time to introduce more characters! And I obviously got extremely carried away.**

 **Enjoy ;) ~**

* * *

 **Konoha**

Shikamaru yawned, stretching over the uncomfortable desk in front of him. Iruka-sensei still hadn't appeared. It was one of the rare days when he was late. The sound of his best friend's munching could barely be silenced by the shrieking preteens, but somehow Ino and Ami managed to be heard over it. Those two could burst anyone's eardrums with the pitches they achieved. And he'd never thought this before but… damn did he miss Haruno. At least with her they managed a respectable level (read: he was used to it). Ami's naturally high tone put Ino's to shame any day.

"Troublesome," He mumbled, flipping to face away from them. "Damn girls."

"WHAT'D YOU SAY?"

He didn't bother lifting his head. Shikamaru could obviously hear her perfectly well after all. Ino was never ignored (as he had found out quite quickly in his childhood). "Ehhhh, Ino, too loud." Chōji stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth and nodded in agreement.

"Tch." She stopped before his desk, hip cocked in a motion Shikamaru recognized as troublesome. "I can be as loud as I want, you're just upset since you have to wake up so early."

"I'm not the one that's upset…" Shikamaru sighed, trying to get into a more comfortable position on the desk.

Ino may be a member of the Yamanaka's, but this young she was still uncontrolled. The poker face that her family tended to develop was still in an early stage, which meant Shikamaru could see straight through her pretense. "I'm not upset!"

"Mhmmm." He snuggled further into his arms, seeking the peaceful darkness of a nap.

A sharp slap of a book to the top of his head startled him, making him straighten in his chair and finally meet Ino's eyes. Shikamaru sighed, not even bothering to get angry. It was too much work. "What? Is this one of those moments when I should act like you're not actually angry Sakura isn't here for you to fight with? Or is it that Sasuke's not here too?"

He really wanted to know the answer. Really. Shikamaru may be a genius, but that didn't mean that he automatically understood how women function. Ino's reddening face showed he made a mistake in his dialogue somewhere. He'd definitely take it into account not to do that again.

"Pretend?! Why would I pretend? Sakura is naturally aggravating after all." Ino huffed, looking at her immaculate nails.

"Half of what you _do_ is pretend." He drawled, indicating that since birth she had been brought up in a clan that tended to master their expressions and psyche when they were teens (sometimes before).

Ami looked smug behind them, "See, you are just a fake. You _faker_!" Most of the civilians laughed.

Shikamaru and Ino turned to stare at her in sync, unnerving the girl easily. "I never said that was a bad thing, a shinobi must develop any necessary skills. Perhaps you need to reevaluate what being a shinobi means to _you_." The dark haired boy stated, making Ami stammer a reply that was neither heard nor acknowledged as he turned back to the blond.

Ino seemed less aggravated, and she sat down in front of Chōji and Shikamaru, turning to face them. There was a stubborn look on her face, and her cheeks were puffed up, "I… thanks." She murmured. Suddenly her demure face turned fierce, "But I'm definitely not a faker! I may be a liar on occasion, even a manipulative person, but I don't fake things that really matter!" At the end of her rant she had closed her eyes, cheeks flushed in what Shikamaru observed was embarrassment.

Chōji's hand had paused right above his bag of chips, "You really mean that Ino?"

Ino opened her eyes, glaring at him, "Of course!"

Shikamaru watched on. They had always been childhood friends, but it had been years since Ino had sat down to actually talk to them. Perhaps it was her budding femininity, or the rivalry with Sakura, but they had drifted ever since her determination had lagged.

"You know…" Shikamaru started, "You haven't talked about Sasuke after I mentioned Sakura. Are you sure it's Sasuke who you have a crush on?"

The blonde's face inflamed, eyes alighting in what looked like was the coming of the fourth shinobi war. Luckily someone saved him. "U-Um…" A soft voice to the left of them said, only heard because of the stall in the conversation. All three turned, facing a flushed Hyuuga Hinata. "I c-couldn't help o-o-overhear."

Her irritation at him forgotten, Ino raised an unimpressed eyebrow at Hinata, "So?"

The redness spread further, "I-I, um, just wanted t-to ask, where exactly _are_ Naruto-kun, Sasuke-san, and Sakura-san?"

Kiba, whom was sitting on the other side of Hinata, leaned forward to look at them with a confused expression, "That's totally true! Where are those jerks?! It's been three days." He pouted, "How come I never get away with that many absences?"

"Why?" Shino said from behind Hinata, "Because your clan and family would never allow it. But I too, am curious as to where they have gone."

Shikamaru sighed, "Didn't you know they tested out of the Academy a couple days ago?"

"…"

"WHAATTT?!" Was the collective response from most of the pre-genin.

"You mean they passed their exam and graduated? _Naruto?!_ " Ino asked incredulously.

Hinata's cheeks puffed up defensively, "If N-Naruto-kun passed a few days ago. I wont be left behind!" She expressed in a very uncharacteristic show of determination.

"W-What the hell!" Kiba shouted, Akamaru barking, "Why did they pass but we didn't even get to try?!"

"If Naruto beat you…" Shikamaru trailed off, "Then you need to work on yourself more."

"Oi," Kiba growled, his dog by his side. He paused for a good moment, thinking it over. "I wont lose to him!"

Hinata smiled shyly, "I-I wont either!"

"Then I shall endeavor to further myself as well. We can pass once we know the three main jutsu and our physical abilities are up to par," Shino said, looking towards Hinata and Kiba. The two were sitting next to him, and they all gave each other a nod in silent agreement to work harder. Even if they weren't exactly friends, they had still called upon one another before.

A hand slammed down on the table as Ino rose to tower over them, "That Forehead! I'll teach her to think she's better than me!"

Shikamaru stared at her flatly, "…When did she ever say that?"

Ino laughed evilly, "We'll just have to graduate early also! And then I'll kick her ass in a spar and she'll know she made a mistake leaving her rival behind."

"That's not a very well thought out plan," Chōji said between munches. "She hasn't thought of you as a rival in a while, since Sasuke's her friend now. Plus, Sakura didn't seem too interested in him like that. Maybe she's just growing up, Ino." He shrunk back as fierce gaze rested on him.

"Are you saying that _I'm_ not as mature as her?!"

Abort. Abort, Shikamaru thought, wincing as Chōji opened his mouth again. "No that's not what I meant. You each are mature in your own ways, but Sakura has apparently found a reason to further her shinobi training. If you put effort into it you could graduate early also, you're top kunoichi now."

The tension in her form loosened, causing Shikamaru to let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. If it were anyone other than Chōji there would've been blood, and lots of it. Ino smiled at him, and her face became determined, "Let's get training then!"

"But class—," Shikamaru started to point out, but his collar was roughly grabbed by Ino, and she promptly dragged both of them with her out the door.

Kiba whooped behind them and followed, "Yeah, let's play hooky! C'mon Hinata, Shino! Leave these other losers here."

From a seat ahead of them, Neji scowled. This week they were placed with Iruka because of their teacher was absent, which meant they had to deal with being in a class below their original. Fate had not been kind to him lately. "She is the heir to the Hyuuga clan, Hinata-sama would never—,"

"O-Okay," She said quietly, and rose to walk after Kiba and Shino, leaving a gawking Neji in the background.

A brown haired girl with buns next to him hummed, a smirk coming to her lips, "Sounds fun, I'm in!" Her chair was empty the next moment. "Hey, Lee let's go have a taijutsu match!" Said boy straightened, nodding firmly.

"Of course Tenten-chan! I must work harder so that when I graduate I can become the best taijutsu master alive!" Within seconds Neji was alone in a room full of baffled civilians. His eyebrow twitched.

Suddenly the door opened, "I'm sorry I'm late, I…" Iruka-sensei paused at the half deserted room. "Where is everyone?"

Neji's scowl deepened.

* * *

They spent the morning training, switching sparing partners and giving advice to one another. The addition of Tenten, who formed an instant bond with Hinata, and Lee were a welcome one. Both of them had an extra year of experience and their taijutsu was leagues better. By the time they were tired, the sun had risen to the top of the sky.

"Ughh," Shikamaru groaned from his position on the ground. "Too much workkkk."

"Aa, I'm hungry." Chōji complained, leaning against the tree next to his best friend. A large growl made them glance to the side, and Ino's face was turning bright red. "We should get Yakiniku Q, their meat's the best."

"That's only cause your mom works in the kitchen," He added, yawning.

"But it has so many calories!" Ino complained, gripping her stomach. "And I'm on a diet."

Tenten scoffed, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. A diet? When you're a shinobi? You realize our bodies burn more calories due to the use of chakra right?"

Ino opened her mouth, then blinked. "Really?"

"Yeah, I mean Chōji's clan practically made that the basis for their jutsu, but at a more accelerated rate. So you're probably not getting the correct amount of calorie intake proper to your growing body. In fact, I'd say you were making yourself even less healthy, and you'll tire more quickly without the right nutrients. Yakiniku Q would definitely help, as Akimichi's always tend to give their food extra. It's why it's popular with shinobi, especially those recovering."

"She's right," Shikamaru spoke up.

"And you never told me?!"

"Would you have listened if I told you?" He watched as a particularly pretty cloud passed by.

"I…"

"So," Tenten broke in before it could descend further into an argument, "Yakiniku Q?"

It didn't take much after that to round up everyone and head towards the restaurant. When they entered the establishment loud laughter could be heard from the back corner. Curious, Tenten lead them towards that direction. Blond, pink, and black hair was spotted in one booth, cackling at something.

Ino was shocked to realize that Sasuke was laughing too, albeit lower and quieter than the other two. It was there she realized… Sakura really was Sasuke's friend. Her lips pressed together and she marched over. "Oi! Forehead, you didn't tell me you were taking an early exam!"

The three genin turned to the intruder, and Sakura almost seemed shocked to see her. "Eh, were you supposed to tell her?" Naruto asked, looking at the pink haired girl.

She shrugged, "I didn't know I had to."

"Of course you should've! We're rivals."

Sasuke looked almost pained at the mention of it, and Sakura sent him a glance that Ino couldn't interpret, a snicker falling from her lips. "Oh, I forgot about that."

Her fists shaking in rage at her sides, Ino's teeth gnashed together, "You forgot."

"Ino…" Shikamaru interrupted, sigh escaping him, "Now that the whole restaurant is caught up, we should probably grab a seat." Indeed, most of the patrons were staring openly in annoyance. "Why don't you guys join us over there? You haven't gotten your order yet anyways." He pointed at a bigger table.

The three exchanged glances, and seemingly came to a consensus. "Sure."

Once they were settled at the new table and had given introductions of the two newcomers (Tenten and Lee) Kiba finally reached the end of his patience. "So you jerks tested out of the Academy?!"

"Yep," Naruto said smugly, grin growing to cover half his face. "We're you're superiors now, heh heh. Naruto-sama has a good ring to it."

"As if," Kiba barked out, Akamaru yipping in agreement by his side.

"That aside," Shino spoke, adjusting his glasses. "If you are genin, then where is your sensei? Why? Because this is time that most genin are training."

All three of them grinned (Sasuke merely smirked), but it was a smile that made the others shiver. It wasn't any they've seen before, and certainly not nice. Sakura chuckled lowly, "He still hasn't noticed we aren't there."

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes, "What does that mean?"

"Hn. That he is a fool, not worthy of being our sensei."

Naruto nodded, "Too true, Sasuke."

"That didn't answer his question at all," Tenten pointed out.

"Weeelllll," Sakura dragged out, buffing her nails on her shirt, "The man seemed lame when we met him, and so we decided to test him."

"T-Test _him_?" The black haired girl said softly, looking everywhere but at Naruto.

"It's simple. We each have a bell somewhere on our person, and if he gets at least two out of three, he passes."

All the pre-genin stared.

Naruto pouted, moving the meat around on the grill. "He hasn't even gotten out of the genjutsu Sakura-chan put on him three days ago."

"It shows how low the standards for jounin are in peace time, if he actually is one."

Sakura nodded, "We're still unsure on that."

"You put a genjutsu on your _sensei,_ for three days?!" Ino shrieked, disbelief in her face. "Where'd you even learn that if he hasn't taught you anything yet?"

"Well, Sasuke copied it with his Sharingan and then taught me the hand signs. I was designated as a genjutsu type earlier this year after all, and even though Sasuke has his kekkei genkai, genjutsu aren't his area of expertise."

"Hmm, so where is your sensei then?"

Naruto and Sakura giggled, "He's still at the training ground, trying to find our clones. The genjutsu only makes him think the clones don't get blown up and he doesn't see the new ones replace their counterparts after they've dispersed."

"We figured if we went too crazy then he'd notice right away. So simple's better," Naruto finished.

An alarm sounded out suddenly and Sasuke put his chopsticks down to turn it off, "Dobe, Sakura, it is time for phase two."

"Phase two?" Lee asked, interest shining in his eyes.

"Why not just come along?" Sakura said, shrugging when both her teammates shot her a look. "It'll be fine, maybe they'd even like to help. The guy's an A class prick."

"What's his name?" Ino interjected. She was trying to feign disinterest, but Sakura could read her friend easily.

"Yakamushi?" The blond questioned, head tilting, "No, maybe Toshimura?"

"Hn, Yakamura Toshi."

Ino burst out laughing, "Oh my god you have him?!"

"What, you know him or something Ino-pig?"

She wiped a tear away, mouth still curled in an amused smile, "If it's Yakamura, you can count me in. He's a very distant relation of mine and his family is one of the branches of Yamanaka. Yakamura's mother married a civilian and he's always tried to one up us. Even though he cant do a lot of our clan's jutsu, which my father graciously allowed him to be taught, Yakamura still despises us and thinks it's our fault for his misfortunes."

"But he doesn't even have blond hair!" Naruto said, as if that was the most important thing.

"So he actually is a fool, as I thought," Sasuke muttered, brushing a lock of hair from his face. "Blaming others' for ones misfortune will only bring sorrow." Shikamaru watched in fascination as this seemed to bring a strangely guilty look in the Uchiha's eyes, and Naruto's hand rested momentarily on his shoulder. His black orbs flashed red, "I do not like him either. Very well, if you wish to accompany us, I will not stop you."

"The bastard's right," Half of the pre-genin goggled at that, "It'll be fun with more friends!"

"…That's not even remotely close to what he said," Shikamaru murmured.

Naruto grinned at them, "C'mon! Let's go teach this jerk a lesson!"

When they got to a nondescript door in one of the several shinobi apartment blocks, Shikamaru stopped and wondered what the hell he was still doing here. As if knowing that he'd leave, Ino shot a smile over at him, making him twitch. Sighing, he watched as Sakura pushed Naruto forward. He pulled a brush and ink out of somewhere and started drawing what looked like fuinjutsu seals onto it.

"What are you doing?" Lee and Tenten chimed together.

"I'm disabling the seals from the other side of the door and inputting a second key into the lock, so to speak. Depending on your mastery, you can add as many 'keys', or chakras, to a single lock as you want in the initial drawing. So different people could get in whenever they want. Adding one afterwards is a lot harder, and more delicate. Luckily, it seems Yakamura only reused one he's learned from someone else so I already know how to add a key. And he doesn't even have any backup seal to catch an intruding chakra."

All the pre-genin looked at Naruto with wonder, "Where'd you learn all this? From what I've heard, you've never learned fuinjutsu." It was curious, where had all these skills come from? Or had Shikamaru never noticed? It was possible after all; he paid little attention to most of his classmates even on good days.

Sakura cut in as Naruto continued to draw. "A while ago we found out that the Uzumaki's are actually a clan that were based in Uzugakure, having been destroyed in a war a while ago. They were fuinjutsu masters, and after Naruto figured that out…" She smiled sadly, "He feels like he's closer to his family this way, using what they were known for."

He grimaced, now knowing his question lead to such a sensitive topic. That didn't stop him from noticing that it wasn't exactly an answer, and it avoided it quite neatly. Sasuke was glaring at him as if he should have known, and Shikamaru groaned inwardly. "Hmm, well it seems that he's got a handle on it. I've never seen a seal matrix like that before. You do your family proud." That seemed to lessen the glare, and the Uchiha gave him a nod.

Something clicked on the other side and the door creaked open. "Bastard, your turn."

"Hn." He said, and his eyes swirled red before he stepped inside. Instantly traps were deployed and the boy dodged them all with seamless grace. A huge wave of air was slicing towards him and Sasuke raised one hand, "Kai," and then the illusion broke, shattering like glass. Sasuke was left standing in the middle of the room with shuriken and kunai imbedded in the floors. "Tch, only B-ranked traps."

The other two genin urged them inside. Sakura caught sight of an open door on the opposite side of the hall, a brown haired man with a raised eyebrow staring in amusement. She gave him a small smirk, then winked, placing her finger up to her lips. He paused for a moment as if to contemplate, then gave a small nod. As she closed the door a smile bloomed on her face. Clapping her hands together, she gained everyone's attention, "Alright, let's get started. Naruto you brought everything, right?"

He pulled out a scroll, flipping it around in his hands, "Yep."

Sakura rounded on the pre-genin; "I'm dividing you into three teams. Shino, Kiba, Hinata, you'll take the living room. Shikamaru, Ino, and Chōji, the kitchen. Tenten and Lee the bathrooms, and we'll take the bedroom. Now… this is what we're going to do…"

* * *

 **Omake #2**

Another loud scream and thud came from his neighbor's apartment. He sighed, walking to his door. Tenzō would feel a lot worse about letting those kids prank the guy if he wasn't such an asshole. The man had mocked his kekkei genkai enough that there was not even a scrap of pity for him to feel towards Yakamura (Which was funny, seeing as he liked to abuse his so called 'useless' and 'stolen' kekkei genkai whenever they were on a team). The man probably did something to deserve it anyways. Although, it had been five days and the guy was still apparently finding new things in his apartment. He had to admit those kids were good.

Setting his pack on the floor near his bed he stretched, yawning sleepily. It took a few minutes to reactivate his traps before Tenzō lay down, head cushioned on a soft pillow. Movement from his window caught his eye and he was up the next second, hand holding a kunai. Was it possible that someone had broken into Konoha? Or was Danzō finally going to come after him after he had defected from ROOT?

These thoughts made him tense, but as he got closer to the window he blinked. Tenzō put away his weapons and opened the window, looking down at the three walnut pies on his sill. "What the…?"

A note was placed on the middle one, and he picked it up wearily.

 _Yo, Yamato!_

 _Thanks a bunch for letting us prank that jerk! Ne, ne, do some creepy eyes at him for me, k? See ya around!_

– _U. N._

 _Hello, Yamato_

 _Please do not be alarmed by the screams, just some mild fun. ;) And don't worry; I was the one who made the pies. If either one of them had, one would be a ramen pie, the other filled with tomatoes (and both probably disgusting)._

– _H. S._

 _Yamato,_

 _My debt is repaid for your ignorance to our actions._

– _U. S._

 _P.S. Training ground #3 has some great Hashirama trees._

Tenzō stared. There were plenty of questions he had, but the main one resounding in his head was, "Why in the world are they calling me Yamato?"

* * *

 **A/N: This is around 1500 more words than I've been writing every chapter but Shikamaru and the Konoha 9 just took over the beginning. And I did promise to show some of the hazing, so I ended up writing more and more D:**

 **Hope you don't mind, and enjoyed it anyways!**

 **Q: Who is your favorite Naruto character?**

 **A: Mine's Gaara! (He's such a cutie, and his angsty backstory is awesomely horrifying)**


	8. Life is to be lived, not controlled

**A/N: You guys are great!**

 **A little heavier than I'm used to writing in this fic, but its important!**

 **Title comes from a quote from Ralph Ellison**

 **Enjoy~**

* * *

 **Konoha**

The Sandaime Hokage looked down at the report in his hands, face grim. Ever since he had become Hokage after the Yondaime's passing it seemed as if every decision weighed heavier. He was too old for this. Sighing, he looked up at Nara Shikaku, Yamanaka Inoichi, Mitarashi Anko, and Morino Ibiki. The entire room was sealed from any prying ears, and they had all made it a priority for no one to know they were gone from their day jobs.

Shikaku had a similar file in his hands, eyes narrowed, expression just as grim. "There are not many choices we have."

"Che," Anko huffed, crossing her feet, "Ain't nothin' we can do about that now, what's done is done and we've taken long enough to debate about it. And if this report doesn't seal Shimura's fate I don't know what will. We need to move, and quickly." A deep frown crossed her face, "As much as I like that Hatake, he sure made a lot of problems for us."

Ibiki's lips pressed in a firm line, the only thing to show his stress, "It makes me wonder if this was perhaps his plan all along. But his motives are still unknown."

Hiruzen took a long puff, setting the file down, "No matter his motives, we know nothing about him therefore we cannot predict the outcome. The only thing we can do is protect our own interests. And to me, that is Konoha and it's people."

Shikaku nods, "If this gets out as is, it could rip us apart worse than Kirigakure's civil war. The man told Jiraiya this specifically, yet we still can't rule it out that he may tell others. If civilians, or worse, other villages, have even a small inkling that Itachi-san may be innocent…" The rest went unsaid, but it made all of them frown.

"Hm," Inoichi hummed, forehead creasing, "Then we must control how, and _what_ is found out. Perhaps if we create a counter story, one similar enough that will still protect Konoha from civil war we will be able to avoid most damages."

"That is my suggestion as well," Shikaku said, closing his eyes briefly, "If we do nothing, one of two things could occur. One, nothing, two, this man, Hatake, speaks of this to someone else, and Konoha within months will be ripe with rumors. It will not only affect morale, but also put us in a position of weakness to our enemies. If we openly tell what has happened, about Itachi's innocence and the role he played in his clan's assassination before their coup d'état, Konoha would be torn in two. Danzō wouldn't hesitate to make his move, not to mention Uchiha Sasuke would be under threat, and Itachi-san would not be pleased. No doubt, angry enough to go against Konoha and take his brother away, willing or not, leaving us without a prominent doujutsu. Yet, if we do as Inoichi says, we have the greatest chance at coming out of this relatively unscathed."

"I also agree with Shikaku and Inoichi's assessment." The heavily scarred man spoke, hand rested on his chin in thought, "A counter play is best. We could place the blame on Danzō and his secret organization, getting rid of his festering ROOTs, and all the while using this as a reason to clean out the rest of the council and ranks. It could almost be called a _good_ thing, if I weren't so uncertain of the outcome. We will have to be extremely careful about this, if Danzō gets even the smallest idea that we are moving against him, he'll make his own play, possibly for Hokage."

"Perhaps if we spin it right, we can keep the Uchiha's coup out of this, making it safe for the Uchiha, and even possibly have Itachi's crime's resolved." Anko piped in, twirling in the chair, "Since we're blamin' Shimura anyways, may as well place other crimes at his feet. We'll come out smellin' like roses." She winked as her chair turned around again, making Hiruzen's lip twitch involuntarily.

Their discussion went on long into the night and finally they resolved some of their plans when light broke through the clouds. It wasn't even close to fruition, but it was a start. All of their clones in the secret meeting room dispersed, and Hiruzen sat back in his chair at Hokage tower. He opened one of his desk drawers, revealing a picture of Danzō and him when they were younger, and the weight on his shoulders grew. If anyone saw him at this moment, all they would see is a sad, old man grieving.

"Dear friend, this time, I cannot save you from your actions." He set the picture back in the drawer, closing it with a finality that rang through the air. Gathering himself, he took out a pen and piece of paper. The steady strokes of the brush on paper soothed some of his melancholy, and his ending lines relieved a part of him he hadn't known was there.

 _...And so, Jiraiya, I'm tasking you to bring back Tsunade, but first, you must stop by the village before you depart. I'm sure you'll be happy to know that your godson has graduated early with two other students, top marks. It has been a struggle trying to find a teacher for those three as their previous one resigned. Sometimes it is almost like looking at you three when you were younger. Ah, the trouble you three used to get up to, but I digress. This will keep Uchiha Sasuke and Naruto out of the village during this time of upheaval, plus give you time with him you have missed. And I have a feeling Naruto is the only one who can sway Tsunade, he is more charismatic than his father (and as stubborn as his mother too)._

– _S. H._

 _P.S. If Konoha's situation worsens; keep them out of the village._

A small frog in the corner of the room hopped onto the desk, swallowing the scroll and disappearing from sight.

* * *

 **Western Fire Country**

Kakashi sneezed, "Maa, someone's been talking about me~"

"Tch, nothing good I bet," Deidara muttered crankily.

"Now now, my cute little—," Kakashi paused, tilting his head, "Jounin?"

Two blue eyes stared at him flatly, "Yes, I'm jounin, don't sound so damn hesitant." Asuga tried to cover her laughter from behind them, but was failing terribly. It had been a couple days until she had lost some of her tenseness (Kakashi's silliness helped get rid of his supposed scary S-rank persona).

"Now, my cute little jounin," The blond's scowl deepened. "Why don't you say that again after another training session? Hm?" A sadistic gleam in Kakashi's eye made Deidara gulp.

All the blood drained from the blond and he shook his head quickly. "No, no, I'm good, yeah."

"That's what I thought."

"Training session?" Asuga questioned, speeding up next to them. "Is it that bad?" She ignored Deidara's glare.

"I wouldn't say that," He said, thinking back fondly on how Deidara had cursed his name for days. The brat had asked Kakashi to train him as he had himself after all. It only took five days for Deidara to give up on the extreme training, pure stubbornness the only thing that had pushed his student that far. A giggle escaped his lips, making Asuga look at him wearily and decide not to further that line of questioning.

Deidara tried to not look relieved, and changed the subject while he had the chance, "Ne, Asuga, why'd they choose you for this mission, hm?"

She looked momentarily surprised, "Why do you want to know?"

He shrugged, but now Kakashi was interested as well, "It doesn't seem like a mission most would want. The parameters would be practically nonexistent, and you'd be going in blind. If Kakashi was more of the kill and ask questions later type, you might have died before you got to approach him."

"Actually, I wasn't chosen, I volunteered."

Kakashi and Deidara shared a look, and the blond couldn't help his disbelieving shout, "Volunteered?!"

"Maa, don't sound so shocked someone would want to meet me, Deidara. I'm quite popular these days."

"Your face on a bounty poster doesn't count as 'popular', yeah." He replied, then shook his head and turned to Asuga, "But really, what made you do that?"

"To be truthful, it _was_ so I could meet Kakashi-san." She said with an unrepentant smile towards Deidara, who could only gawk. Kakashi's form radiated smugness, giving her an eye-smile.

"Deidara, Asuga has just replaced you as my favorite student."

"She's not even your student, yeah!"

Asuga snickered, and Kakashi turned his gaze towards the young woman, "Not many would want to meet me after I infiltrated their village and escaped from their ANBU."

"Ahaha, yeah." She shrugged, weary look coming to her face. "It wasn't just because of that."

"Then what, hm?" Deidara questioned, eyebrow twitching.

The woman fingered her mahogany hair, becoming hesitant. "Its… well, uh, you see, I'm actually Gaara's cousin, from his father's side."

"Gaara? Who is that?" Deidara asked, but ultimately went ignored.

"As nice as that is, that wouldn't have prompted you into accepting a mission to deliver a scroll to an S-ranked, possibly violent, shinobi," Kakashi drawled, but behind his mask he was grimacing. He had never heard of a cousin of Gaara's before, so that only meant she was killed before the redhead had turned his life around.

She flushed, "Look, most of my life I've seen how Gaara's been; uncontrollable, dangerous, and above all, crazy. But I was also old enough, and around him enough, when he was under Yashamaru's care. Back then… he was _different_ ; more gentle… a child under an extreme amount of stress. Yashamaru's death changed him, and I honestly can't hold it against him, as he was the only one that ever cared for him."

Deidara was soaking this all up, interest shining in his expression, "And?"

"Well," Asuga looked forward, bangs covering her eyes, "One day an even crazier shinobi broke into the village and kidnapped my baby cousin for a few hours. The village went ballistic, thinking that he'd hurt him," Kakashi read the undertone, noting that she meant they had thought he'd release the Ichibi in the village, "But he did something unexpected, this shinobi returned him whole, and for lack of a better term, fixed. Then he left, no demands, no rewards, nothing. As if it was natural to do those sorts of things without wanting something in return."

Kakashi hummed, "Sounds like I'd get along with him."

Asuga huffed, shooting him a glower, "Don't be coy."

Understanding dawned on Deidara, making him groan and push his hand through his hair, "For fucks sake Kakashi, what the hell goes through your head?"

"That's what I would like to know as well," Asuga said dryly, staring at the man in question.

"Lots of things, but preferably not kunai. Those aren't the greatest things to have in your head." Asuga and Deidara sighed, knowing to give up when Kakashi got in one of these moods of non-answers.

The next few hours went in silence, with a couple of small conversations that died quickly as they went near Kusa and Ame's borders. Those two countries weren't the most peaceful, so it was best to be cautious around them. It quickly became clear that it was for a good reason, as Kakashi paused, smelling dried blood in the air as the wind changed. The other two halted behind him, ready for any attacks, as they couldn't sense what he could.

"Blood, Northeast, a couple miles ahead of here, and lots of it. But it's stale. Most likely a couple hours old."

"Should we go check it out?" Asuga said, her brows furrowing. She clutched the kunai harder, breathing evenly to keep the adrenaline down.

"There could be survivors," His minion added, and that made Kakashi almost raise an eyebrow. Perhaps being around him had more influence on Deidara than he had realized. In the other life, Deidara had been a coldhearted killer, blowing up towns for money before becoming Akatsuki.

Kakashi ignored the warmth in his chest, "Hm, we'll proceed with caution. Deidara, fly above and give us a heads up if you see anyone coming our way, or looking for a fight." Deidara stared at him for a good few seconds.

"I can't fly." He said flatly, looking at him like he was insane.

The older man sighed, and pulled him aside, away from Asuga's keen ears. "Deidara, you have a kinjutsu that allows you to put chakra into your clay, yes?"

He nodded.

"Now, you can mold that clay into anything you want?"

Another nod.

"And with that form you can make it move?"

Deidara's mouth opened and closed a few times, "You mean…" Kakashi smiled.

"Yep."

"What. The. Fuck." He growled, eye twitching in full force, "And how long have you guessed I could do this?"

"Truthfully?" Kakashi tilted his head, smirk coming to his lips, "Since you showed me your ability."

Asuga, standing patiently on the sidelines, watched in amusement as Deidara squawked in anger and started throwing miniature spiders at Kakashi. She sighed, gaining their attention, "Deidara, you're lucky the wind is carrying the sound away from our destination. Or else all the secrecy would be for naught."

"B-But I—he…" Deidara threw his hands up, and then pinched his nose. Ignoring the chuckles from Kakashi he pulled some clay out from his pouch (one that the man had bought for him after a few days spent together). It didn't take long until the bird was formed and Deidara stomped onto it, flipping Kakashi off, before the clay shakily rose off the ground and into the air.

Asuga and Kakashi followed behind more slowly, but still in range in case Deidara gave them a signal. The few miles passed by quickly, and Kakashi couldn't sense or smell anything dangerous. The blond swooped down and landed next to them, blank expression alerting Kakashi. "It's a small town. Or _was_ a small town. I suspect no survivors."

Deidara lead them to the town, and Asuga gasped, hand coming up to cover her mouth. It was like out of a horror show, bodies strewn in the streets and limbs at odd angles. Blood was splattered across doorways and dripping down walls. The silence was the worst; no sign of life could be heard. And at the edges of the town were shinobi of Kusa, as if they had been acting to protect the civilians. One man half-laid overtop a child, face forever contorted in pain. Deidara bent down to stare at the little girl, no bigger than three, with her head twisted and empty expression.

"There is no art in this, yeah," He muttered, closing the poor girl's eyelids.

"Who would do such a thing?!" A tear slipped down her cheek, and Asuga tried to keep the rest from falling.

"There's no use in wondering now, whomever did this is long gone." Clenching his fist, Kakashi walked forward, surveying more of the tiny town.

"But… we can't just leave them here!" Asuga yelled, glaring down at the toy gripped in a small fist.

"No, we can't," Came the soft reply, silencing all of her rage. Kakashi sighed, looking up at the sky as it started raining, washing away most traces, if there were any to begin with. Only a few hours earlier and they would have been passing by. If he hadn't stopped and had dinner… A sharp, quiet laugh escaped him. It seemed he was always too late when it really counted.

 _Not that it mattered_ , he thought bitterly, _what were a dozen more lives to the hundreds he already carried?_

* * *

 **A/N: Wow, did not mean for this to get angsty. But it happened. I mean, it had to at some point, lol. Kakashi is a very complex man, and I didn't want him to come off as flat, since that would just be disrespecting his character. And also, you have to have the bad times to show the good. ;)**

 **I was really hesitant to post this chapter, as it's very plot orientated and a different tone than my previous ones. Hope you liked it anyways, and please, comment and tell me what you did or didn't enjoy.**

 **Don't worry, it'll get back to the humor very quickly ;3**

 **Q: In every anime you've watched, whose laugh/catchphrase do you think was the most annoying?**

 **Mine was Trebol from One Piece. That guy was sooooooo aggravating!**


	9. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger

**A/N: THANKS FOR THE AWESOME REVIEWS! I love you guys! *throws confetti hearts***

 **Also, titles another quote, but by Friedrich Nietzsche.** **  
**

 **I hope you like it! Enjoy~**

* * *

The pitter-patter of rain sang across the ground as Kakashi stalked further into the decimated town. Deidara and Asuga were right behind the man, checking in the houses and unmoving bodies for anyone that could have survived. So far, none had lived.

When they reached the middle of the small village, Kakashi's demeanor changed. Deidara gasped, and his knees locked up to keep himself upright under the powerful killing intent. The Suna nin hadn't been able to keep standing at all, grasping at her neck, pupils blown wide and body shaking. It stopped almost as swiftly as it had come, and they both grappled for control of their body functions.

The blond could see the tenseness of Kakashi's shoulders, and the fingers twitching at his side. Not even when they had faced Iwa ANBU had Kakashi ever lost control of his killing intent. It had been kept under wraps, leashed behind the smiling façade of a lazy man. He shivered, wooden legs only moving closer when he forced them to. "K-Kakashi, what…?" Deidara's eyes followed the older man's line of sight, blinking at the bloody circle in the center. A triangle was in the middle of the circle, and all around it were piles of mangled corpses. Most were unrecognizable, slashes and gaping holes where their faces and organs had once been.

Bile rose in his throat, but he pushed it back down. "I don't… This, it… looks like some sort of ritual, yeah."

"That's because it is." Kakashi spoke finally, voice low and dangerous. "It was for a _god_ ," He spat with vitriol, "His name is Jashin, and his greatest follower is the one responsible."

"Who?" Her hoarse voice came; Asuga still was gripping at her throat.

"Hidan."

"So he killed all these people for a religion?" The disbelief in his tone was clear. "What kind of fuckin' religion is that?"

"A religion that is going to have one less follower, very soon." Kakashi crouched down and did his summoning jutsu, causing three dogs to appear. One was a very small pug with a grumpy demeanor. The two others were of average size; the gray haired dog had a Mohawk, and the last was brown-haired with spiky fur.

The pug stepped forward, "Boss, what is it now? And are these the two you were talking of?" His dark eyes turned towards Deidara and Asuga, the latter almost squealing at how cute he was.

Kakashi nodded, hand placing on Deidara's head, "This is Deidara, my new brat. And Asuga is the Suna nin that had a message for me." The dog looked them over and huffed. "Deidara, Asuga, this is Pakkun, the Mohawk one is Shiba, and that's Urushi."

"Didn't you have more the last time you summoned them?" Deidara asked, realizing there were five less.

"They're a little busy at the moment, as they have a different mission." Kakashi actually answered without any of his usual fanfare. That, more than anything, made Deidara uneasy. "Now, get the scent off the middle of the circle." There was a puddle of blood where he had pointed, not yet washed away.

"Boss, is this who I think…?" Kakashi gave the dog a look that he couldn't interpret, and Pakkun sighed. "Of course it is."

As they all started sniffing and memorizing the scent, their boss faced them, "Deidara, Asuga, stay here and try to clean up. I'll be back in a day or two."

"What?!" Deidara yelled, "But before you said you'd never… never…" His mouth snapped closed, looking down at the blood stained ground. Kakashi had said that he wouldn't abandon him. Sure, he said he would come back, but Deidara couldn't help but feel… something. Ever since he had been young, Deidara had been alone. There had been superiors, pushing and pushing for him to get stronger after he showed his potential, but no one quite like Kakashi. They didn't buy him a pouch after he complained for days of having nowhere to put his clay. Didn't reassure Deidara that they wouldn't leave, and sure as hell didn't make him feel like he was wanted.

They had never _cared_.

All Ōnoki wanted from him was his fighting prowess, his skill in blowing things up. After training sessions, he left him in the dirt, bloody and bruised without even a spare glance backwards. And when he had gotten tired of it and pushed himself to get stronger, going up against tougher opponents and almost dying, Ōnoki had only seemed disgusted with him that he hadn't won. Telling him that he should have worked harder for his village.

But what had his fucking village ever done for him? Made him strong? Given him more than a passing look? Acknowledged him as more than a useless orphan? No, that had only come after his usefulness as a shinobi was revealed. And even then, it wasn't real. They used and used and used, but never gave him anything. So he left, deciding to grow powerful for himself, and then he would rub it in their faces, that he was strong without their help.

Kakashi had come into his life with no reason, gave, and yet never asked for anything in return. Never asked Deidara to help when ANBU attacked them, used his own money and supplies for him, and then ignored him when Deidara tried to repay him. The man was more infuriating than anyone he had ever met, but he cared in his own awkward, twisted way.

A warm hand grasped his shoulder, making Deidara look up, "Deidara…" Kakashi's eye curved, shoulders less tense than they had been, "Perhaps I hadn't been clear before. So I'll say it once more." His grip tightened for a moment, gaze boring down into Deidara's very soul, "In the ninja world, those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are _worse_ than trash. That is my nindo way. You're under my protection now, and I _will not_ abandon you."

Deidara swallowed, eyes stinging for some reason, "But anyone that can kill a whole village like this is strong. Take me with you, yeah! I won't be a burden, I promise!" He won't, he _won't_.

"Deidara, do you trust me?"

Even he was surprised when without hesitation, he answered, "Yes."

"Then stay here, help Asuga with the village." Kakashi cut off Deidara before he could interrupt, "I know you want to help me, but this man… I need to use my full strength to defeat him." A quick side look at Asuga, who was staring at them in awe, and he leaned closer to him, "It is just as important for you to stay here, and protect Asuga. This man may come back, as is common in murderers who enjoy carnage, to relive his kills. If that happens, it will take both of you to have a chance to survive."

Understanding what Kakashi was saying, Deidara's shoulders slumped. Just as Kakashi started to leave, his hand shot out to grasp at the older man's black sleeve. "I, you—," He cleared his throat, glaring at Kakashi, "You better be back in two days, or else I'll come after you and blow you up myself, yeah!"

Kakashi genuinely laughed, causing red to appear high on Deidara's cheeks, and he patted his head. "I would expect nothing less, my little minion."

"Tch," He huffed, crossing his arms. Kakashi gave him one last pat and then followed after his dogs. Deidara stared at the spot he last saw him for some minutes before a gentle touch to his shoulder made him blink.

"He'll be fine," Asuga reassured him and smiled softly. "I had almost forgotten he's S-rank for a reason. But that also means he's powerful, and Kakashi cares for you as much as you do for him, so he'll have an incentive to come back."

What had been just a tinge of red on his cheeks erupted into a full-blown blush. "I-I don't care for that jerk!"

Asuga giggled, smile growing, "It's not a weakness to say you care." Her grin dwindled and something dark was in her expression, "I know that's not what shinobi are taught, but… they're all fucking wrong! My uncle, the Kazekage, and all his elites, they think I'm weak because I can't hold in my emotions even though I'm a jounin. I had to beg for him to give me this opportunity to prove myself. It's _not_ a weakness; it's just a different kind of strength. A strength that pushes you to better yourself, for those precious people around you, to protect instead of hurt. I believe that's what Kakashi was trying to say with his nindo." Her eyes were warm as she looked at him, making Deidara blink.

Eyebrows' scrunching together, he pondered for a moment, was that really what Kakashi had meant? Did he truly care for Deidara? "I'm… not sure what to think."

Shrugging, she looked around the village, "Then don't think about it, just accept it. Sometimes, those things aren't things you can understand."

"I guess I can do that." Deidara gave her a small smile, oddly feeling much more at ease.

Slapping her hands together Asuga turned to him, "We have a lot of work to do, but with those nifty earth jutsu we can create a lot more graves easier. I'll be on transport duty, you wanna get started on that in the clearing just outside of the village there?"

Deidara nodded, and they got to work, him with moving the earth to make resting places for the numerous bodies that Asuga would bring over. Within a couple hours they had cleared most of the village, working in tandem quickly to get the gruesome job done. He was just taking a sip of water from his canteen when Asuga's shout from the town alerted him. It felt like forever before he arrived, jumping down from the bird he had created to speed the travel.

Asuga was holding a girl in her arms, eyes widening when a groan came from the slack form. "She's alive!" He peered closer, taking in the red hair and the slowly opening red orbs from behind circular glasses. The girl looked around ten or eleven years old, and she was completely wet. Deidara wondered why that was, and Asuga seemed to have guessed his question, for she quickly answered. "I was taking a break and threw a bucket down the well, when I heard it hit something I realized someone was down there! She must have either fallen or was thrown in the well. There's a bump on her head, but nothing other than that. She's… very lucky."

"W-Wha…?" The redhead croaked, blinking up at the sun.

"You've been unconscious for some time, here," Deidara handed over his canteen and Asuga gave her some water. "Name?"

"K-Karin. Why…what…?" Then suddenly she gasped, sitting straight up and staring around her. Karin seemed to grasp the situation when she stared around the town, seeing some of the bodies they hadn't cleaned up yet, and copious amounts of blood dried on the walls. "I—I… they—we couldn't, couldn't _stop him_ ," And she burst into tears. They flowed down without restraint, sobs ripping from her mouth.

"There, there honey, it's not your fault." Asuga reassured her, pulling the girl into her chest and rubbing her wet hair.

"It is!" Karin pulled back, anger and sadness twisting her face into something that neither of them liked to see on a girl younger than them, "You don't understand! I'm the sensor, I should have realized who he was from his—his _disgusting_ chakra!"

They traded uneasy looks, both of them unsure as to what to say. Deidara sighed, shuffling closer to the girl, and then he flicked her forehead, _hard_. Karin jolted back, tears stopping momentarily, staring at him in shock. "You can cry, wallow, hate yourself for all I care, but once you stand up, there's no longer a place for that."

"Wh-Wha…?"

He stood, looking down at her mercilessly, hands on his hips, "Your village was destroyed," She flinched, "I get that. But there's only two ways it can go from here. You can sit here until someone else comes to finish you off, or you starve to death, content in your ability to have done nothing. _Or_ you stand up, and decide to do something about your weakness. Grow strong, prove to yourself that you're worthy of being the survivor of your village, yeah!" Deidara grinned, bright blue eyes flashing as his chakra swirled, itching to be released.

"Y-You think I can be strong?" Karin stuttered, staring up at him with something he couldn't recognize (and for some reason Asuga was smirking in the background?).

"Tch," He flicked her forehead again, but lighter. "Anyone can be strong, even weaklings like you. You can only go up from here, yeah."

Karin reached out, surprising him by grasping his hand, and bit her lip shyly, "O-Okay," She stood, a little wobbly on her shaking legs, but her eyes were determined, "I want to grow strong, just like you!"

"M-Me?!" Deidara jerked back in shock, flushing a bit, then he coughed, "Of course. I'm very strong, yeah." Asuga snickered into her palm, making him glare at her.

"What's your name?"

Deidara turned back to her, "It's Deidara, yeah!"

The girl smiled, tears finally drying completely, and tilted her head cutely, "Thanks Deidara-senpai!"

Asuga burst out into laughter, dodging the clay birds flying her way.

* * *

 **A/N: Did I just lowkey ship Deidara and Karin? Why yes, yes I did. And I was completely by accident, I swear! I was just writing and then bam!**

 **Sorry for no action scene this time! It's next chappy, promise ;) And next one has wayyy more Kakashi too!**

 **Comments are love :3**


	10. Insanity is relative

**A/N: Yo, sorry this is pretty late. Although I did tell you guys earlier on that I was bad at updating consistently. Man though, this chapter was such a bitch and it didn't come out exactly how I wanted it.**

 **Sorry, I'm really not good at action scenes, especially in the Naruto verse. Though I ended up watching the Hidan vs. Kakashi ep over twenty times just to get a feel for how they fought (what is my life?).**

 **Also, I hope that this chapter explains to those reviewers why I did the last chapter the way I did.**

 **Enjoy~**

* * *

 **Ame**

There was a small part of him that felt bad for not telling the whole truth to Deidara. He didn't _necessarily_ lie, per se, but Kakashi didn't share all his knowledge. Kakashi knew that Hidan would never go back to the same site to relive a kill, he would just go search out for a new victim. It was true that most criminals that killed for fun liked to do that, but Hidan definitely wasn't one of them. That's one of the reason's why he didn't bother wasting time debriefing them on Hidan. He'd make sure they would never come across him again. In case he failed, Kakashi made sure that one of his ninken had stayed behind, circling the town, ready to alert Deidara and Asuga if complications arose. Pakkun and Urushi came with him to track the scent though he already had a good idea of where Hidan was headed.

Kakashi didn't want Deidara to feel completely useless, and he certainly didn't want Deidara getting it in his head that he should come along. If he felt that he needed to stay and protect the village from bandit scavengers, and by proxy, Asuga, then his minion would have a purpose to stay behind. Deidara was growing stronger every day at an impressive rate, but Kakashi understood he wasn't S-class and would have a hard time keeping up. Then he'd try to protect Deidara and, well… it'd be Zabuza vs. Team 7 all over again (and Kakashi wasn't expecting another miracle). It wasn't that Kakashi doubted his own skill, or that of his students, but he wasn't taking that chance. Not on Deidara's life.

The part of him that was 'Cold-blooded Kakashi' and ANBU captain squashed that guilt into nothing. He did what he'd had to, that's what he'd always done and what he would continue to do.

Kakashi paused in the tree, spotting his target ahead of him alone, and after dispersing his ninken he burst into motion. The last time he had fought Hidan, Kakuzu was still with him. They had made one of the deadliest combo teams he'd seen in a long while; their capability for destruction was almost awe-inspiring. Mid air he pulled his hitai-ate up, Sharingan spinning to life. It allowed him to easily see the cord whip out from Hidan's sleeve, scythe planting into a tree far to their left.

His sword, crackling with electricity, sliced through nothing as Hidan pulled himself sideways to dodge. Kakashi followed, bouncing from tree to tree, slashing again at the man as he jumped over Hidan. The man laughed, two dull red eyes glittering as he twisted and the sword missed him yet again. When Hidan finally reached his scythe he swiped it once as if he could feel it already going through flesh, "What the fuck? Who're you?"

Kakashi didn't bother answering, and they traded blows in quick succession. Left. Right. Right. Then he kicked up to block the maniac's scythe by the handle as Kakashi swung his sword. Hidan merely loosened the hold of his weapon while jumping back, still gripping the cord. But Kakashi was expecting the move, and smirked. As the sword passed, electricity extended from the blade, burning into Hidan's stomach and pushing the man back. There was a small black hole where the voltage had touched.

They disengaged and studied each other. Hidan with more wary eyes than before, but the glint of madness was still there. Then Hidan laughed again, "You're the fucking heathen that killed Kakuzu, ain't ya?"

Kakashi circled to the left, anger burning in the bottom of his stomach. But he had long ago learned how to turn that into a weapon, not allowing it to control him but giving him strength. "Does it matter if I did?"

"Nah. Didn't give a shit about that fucker. Shame I didn't kill 'im first though. I had dibs." The man's smile widened, showing gleaming white teeth, "I'm gonna enjoy tearing your guts out."

Smiling, Kakashi tilted his head. "You're going to regret killing those villagers."

"HA! Regret?! I don't fuckin' regret shit like that!" Hidan gritted the last part through his teeth as they clashed again, and was able to push Kakashi's sword back momentarily. He flashed forward, cord spinning, "Those villagers were pathetic! The only use they had been to die for Jashin-sama."

He ducked under the scythe, deflecting it once and it jerked back, Hidan controlling it almost like Sasori with his puppet strings. The weapon swiped vertically at his side and Kakashi jumped, momentarily stepping on the top to push himself off and out of its range. "That will change, since it will be the cause of your death."

"Tch, death will never touch me!" He cackled and they exchanged more blows, neither gaining the upper hand. It went on that way for minutes, one shinobi pushing the other back, and then going on the defense as their opponent attacked. Hidan growled, "Why. Wont. You. Just. DIE!"

"Maa, I could ask you the same," Kakashi drawled as he jumped through the trees and into the middle of a clearing. The other followed him, stepping forward and then Hidan froze in place, a flash of darkness glimmering over his body before seeming to solidify over his arms and body.

Hidan blinked, trying to move his head to look at what had caught him. When he found his mouth could still move, he blurted out, "You goddamn heathen! The hell's this?!"

"Just a little fuinjutsu trap that a very good friend of mine made," Kakashi stated. He remembered the night Naruto had proposed the idea, and while he thought him crazy at the time, it had only taken a few drinks before they were expanding on it. It sometimes baffled him that Naruto always wanted to test and create different fuinjutsu when drunk, and usually succeeded. It reminded him so much of Kushina it made his heart _ache._ "It's a mix of the paralysis jutsu and a kekkei genkai from the Nara clan of Konoha. Very complex stuff, and takes a while to set up, so it's useless in most battles."

If Kakashi hadn't calculated Hidan's trajectory and been able to pass him to have time to set it up it wouldn't have worked. It helped that Kakashi realized Hidan was going to the Akatsuki hideout hidden in Ame, and was able to send a clone to get ahead with his superior speed. Then he set his trap and attacked when Hidan was close to it. Slowly, throughout the fight he had pushed the man into the exact spot he wanted, conserving his chakra and strength, until his target passed through the spot he wanted. On the off chance Hidan broke the fuinjutsu, he'd have enough power to still put him down.

"FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! I'll fucking kill you once this is gone! I'll rip your shitty ass friends and family to pieces! I'll—," Hidan continued spewing worse and worse expletives from his mouth, but they were ignored. The man seemed to be struggling, the shadow around him flickering to keep him still.

Kakashi wasted no more time, red eye spinning, a twist of space appeared near Hidan's head, "Kamui!" The circle was twirling, taking in more and more. Hidan screamed in rage, and something flashed by Kakashi's foot, and slicing into his thigh. Kakashi caught sight of the end of the cord from Hidan's weapon glistening with blood and paled. Hidan was already breaking through the fuinjutsu; otherwise his chakra wouldn't have been able to channel into his weapon. He really wished they had made it more durable. Hidan's cord whipped the ground into a very familiar signal, and then started to swirl back to its master so the blood would touch Hidan's tongue. _Shit,_ Kakashi thought, _just a little more!_

The mouth was still unfortunately not caught yet in Kamui, and Hidan kept spewing his thoughts, "Hahaha, you didn't get my weapon! Your shitty trap doesn't account for that, huh?! Didn't know I could control it with just my chakra? It'll be your end!"

He cursed more in his head, willing Kamui to take his head faster. If he didn't get the whole thing, he didn't know if the body would regenerate, or possibly still function with half. A clone split off and ran forwards to try and stop the cord from giving Hidan his blood, but Kakashi knew it wouldn't make it.

 _Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Deidara, Father, I'm sor—_

The portal spun open and over Hidan's head twice as fast, then slammed shut, just before the transformation was going to start. The headless body crumpled to the ground, motionless. Kakashi's chest heaved, and his hand brushed over his pounding heart. That was closer than he would have like. And… how had that—his eyes widened as he felt chakra appear from behind him, _familiar_ chakra.

 _O-Obito?!_

He whirled, sword in hand, prepared to strike down his old friend if that's what it came to. The sight before him made him stop. Where was the Akatsuki cloak? Why did he… Kakashi sucked in a breath. Millions of thoughts flashed through his mind within seconds. That's right, this Obito didn't become teammates with Kakashi, they never fought, never bonded. _This_ Obito didn't know _him_. He hadn't had to push his teammate out of the way of a falling boulder and been found by Uchiha Madara, twisted into some macabre version of his once best friend.

Two Mangekyou Sharingan stared at Kakashi, and his own was steadily set on Obito's chin, marveling in the smoothness of the other's skin. It was odd to see him grown and without half of his face reconstructed. Kakashi blinked once he looked at the hitai-ate. There was a slash through it. That explained why Jiraiya said two Konoha missing-nin. But… what had made Obito abandon his dream of becoming Hokage in this world? If he had to guess anything, he'd bet it had to do with how the other got the Mangekyou.

That thought made Kakashi's blood boil. Even in this world… Obito suffered. Did that make him an enemy still? Kakashi didn't know.

"Uchiha… Obito," Kakashi stated slowly, stance still defensive. "Why did you help me?"

Obito shrugged, mouth spreading into a grin, "Dunno."

He faltered for a second before regaining his composure, "You don't _know_?" If his question came out a little incredulous, well, this situation was a bit incredulous.

"Nope," The other replied, tilting his head curiously. "I just have a few questions I wanna ask ya."

"You saved me. To ask me questions." The age-old annoyance Obito always seemed to draw from him came thundering back. "Really?" When the other nodded, he sighed, "Well, go on." Even if part of him was rejoicing in being able to see his friend-that-wasn't-his-friend, the other part of him was formulating strategies to retreat. Fighting two high-ranked shinobi right after another wasn't his ideal. And if Obito asked his questions, maybe he could figure out if the other was a threat.

This was surreal. So, so, so fucking surreal.

Obito's eyes narrowed, no longer grinning, "Did you steal that Sharingan?"

"No." Truth. Though it wasn't his, he didn't _steal_ it.

"Then prove it."

"And give you an advantage?" He asked, eyebrow rising. Kakashi didn't have to look to know Obito had rolled his eyes. Amusement passed through Kakashi, and he said dryly, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

When Obito huffed out a laugh, Kakashi's stomach twisted in something that he couldn't distinguish (but it felt like happinessguiltsadnessjoysurprise—). The Uchiha deactivated his Sharingan, "Happy?"

He hummed, and his own eye spun and disappeared, blending back into his usual black orbs. "That answer your question?"

Obito exhaled sharply, "So you _are_ an Uchiha." He glanced over Kakashi's hair, "Partly."

Well… shit.

He should've guessed that would be the conclusion that Obito would draw (really anyone would draw that conclusion – only Uchiha can deactivate the Sharingan). No one would ever think, oh he must've come from another dimension and mysteriously gained back his Sharingan that his dead friend had given him once upon a time, and that somehow worked for him now. Yeah. That sounded insane even to him, and he had _lived_ it.

The crazy part of Kakashi went with it, because he could work with this, twist it to his own machinations. And perhaps, a part of him thought, they could become friends again if the other thought he was a distant family member.

"So," Obito drawled out, more relaxed than before, waved one hand slowly at his face, "Why only one eye? And one that has a scar over it at that?"

"I got this scar the night I got my Sharingan." Truth. "The other didn't activate." Truth, because it _wasn't even his Sharingan_.

"Heh, I'm surprised you didn't lose your eye when you got that scar. It looks pretty deep." Obito peered at him so intently Kakashi could feel sweat gathering on the back of his neck. Then he blinked, "The one eye activating must be because of your mixed heritage, I've never come across any half-Uchiha before though, so who knows? They used to have strict regulations on outside village dalliances. When the clan was still alive, I bet they took them in or hunted them down." The last part was said almost bitterly, before Obito's expression relaxed again.

Kakashi shrugged, "I look like my father mostly, I never knew my mother, but she wasn't from the Hatake clan." He didn't know if that was true in this world, but it was in his. She had been from a civilian family in Konoha. "My father said I have her eyes though." That was also true; Sakumo had brown, while Kakashi's were onyx.

"Hatake clan? I wasn't aware there were more than you? Are they shinobi also?" He gestured towards the hitai-ate.

Obito looked surprised when Kakashi shook his head in the negative. "I'm Hatake Kakashi, of the Hatake clan, though it isn't much of one anymore. They were samurai before they were wiped out thirty years ago."

"I know who you are. But your bingo book says you're under thirty…" Obito said suspiciously.

This time is was Kakashi that chuckled, "I'm twenty four, and my father was the only one who survived the village's destruction."

"Hm," Obito hummed.

"Is that all of your questions?"

He grinned, "If I wanted to ask them all you'd be here for days." Then his expression shifted, "Truth is… before I came across you I was already looking for you."

Alarm bells rang in his head, making Kakashi wary. "Oh? For little old me?"

"Relax, I'm not here for your bounty, ludicrous though it is." Obito leaned back onto the tree behind him.

Somehow, that didn't make Kakashi feel any better. "Then what _is_ the reason?"

"Well," He started, smirking, "I have a proposition for you, Hatake Kakashi."

* * *

 **A/N edited (may 16th): OBITO APPEARS! ;)**

 **Did it happen how you thought it would? What do you think Obito wants with Kakashi?**

 **And sorry if Kamui is not completely canon, I tried to do as much research as I could to keep it accurate, but honestly the whole Naruto fanon/canon is so screwed lol. If you didn't understand, when two eyes work together, Kamui works twice as fast, which is why he was able to store Hidan's head away just in time.**

 **Also, wtf is up with Hidan's stats? 5 in ninjutsu? What? When does he do ninjutsu?! So I figured, he** _ **must**_ **at least be able to control that cord thing with chakra. I mean come on, how could he not?** (I'm just saying this, cuz it's kinda lame he wasn't able to in actual canon, wouldn't that have been badass? I'm just taking liberties of canon ;D) **  
**

 **You can tell Naruto does a lot of stupid things when he's drunk. Bad Naruto, don't drink and fuinjutsu!**


	11. Pranks, Puns, and Plans

**A/N: Thank you for all your comments, I do read and appreciate all of them even if I don't always respond to every one. It's really what keeps me going, knowing you guys all really like it. Mostly I started this for myself, but it's always nice to have people enjoy it too.**

 **Back to Konoha again (I know a lot of people were really looking forward to what Obito was proposing, but… it'll take a bit) *laughs evilly* Plus it was getting a little depressing, so I needed some fun! ;)**

 **Warning: Team 7 antics, and terrible puns.**

 **Enjoy~**

* * *

 **Konoha**

Team Seven relaxed in one of the many trees populating the village of Konoha near the Hokage tower. They had the perfect view of the top of the buildings many shinobi used as a platform to jump to the window of the tower. It was a nice day, a bit windy and hot, but nothing that was unusual in the Land of Fire. There was a flash of movement, and a sudden panicked screech that broke through the tranquility of such a day. A shinobi had tumbled off the roof and fallen to the ground in the middle of the street. He jumped up, embarrassment clear on his face as he disappeared yet again to jump to the tower, only to slip on the windowsill and catch himself on the walls of the tower. When he stepped on a certain spot however, he was sprung straight off the wall and flung far away, his scream echoing after him.

Naruto and Sakura laughed, Sasuke smirked widely. "That's the fourth this hour," The Uchiha stated. "Pay up."

"Che, lucky guess," Naruto grumbled as he passed a few hundred ryo over.

"You're already rich, don't know why you need more." Sakura commiserated, but eventually passed her money over as well. "It was so close to the end of the hour I thought I'd win."

"Hn," Was all he replied, but looked at the money and back at them pointedly. "I also bet extra for the second trap."

"Dammit, hoped you'd forget that."

Sasuke put on a haughty air, "An Uchiha never forgets what they're due."

"You're due a beating, that's what you're due," The blond grouched as he eyed the place the chunin had disappeared from. "My clone's resetting the original traps, anything to add?"

Sakura shrugged, "Maybe instead of all springs, that strange glue you were tampering with last night?"

"Heh, but then we'd have random shinobi stuck all over the side of Hokage tower, I dunno if the old man'll take that well." The thought of it made Naruto giggle.

"Genjutsu to conceal their presence?" Sasuke suggested, "Timed to dissipate after an hour along with the glue?"

"Next time," Naruto grinned, "Gotta work a few kinks out. Good input though, bastard, I'll make you a master of pranking yet."

"Tch, like I need _your_ help."

" _I'm_ the one who came up with the sliding roof tiles."

"And who was it that made the idea work?" He bit back, onyx eyes flashing with amusement and faked hatred. "Definitely not a dobe like you."

"You—!"

"Boys, boys, boys," Sakura placated, expression even. "You both think you're more important to this operation, is that correct?"

They glared at each other then nodded.

"Well… you're both wrong. It's clear that _I'm_ the most important," Sakura sneered good-naturedly, flipping her hair over her shoulder. They both looked like they were about to protest but she cut them off, "Who's the one that set _sensei_ up for therapy?"

"You," They echoed together, looking grumpy.

"And who's the one that makes the _flawless_ area widegenjutsu that lets you set the traps up unnoticed in the first place?"

"You."

"Who's the most gorgeous?"

"Yo—Hey!" Naruto shouted.

"Hn."

Naruto nodded at Sasuke, "He's totally right."

"What?!" Sakura yelled, "I have waaay better hair than Sasuke does!"

"Hn." He eyed her hair skeptically. Sakura gasped, clearly understanding.

The blond laughed, clutching his stomach, "He's gotcha there. If it weren't for the duck butt style, he'd have ya beat." That earned him a glare from Sasuke. Naruto noticed and shrugged, "It's totally true. Look," His hand reached out before the other could dodge and flicked the hair on the back of Sasuke's head. The hair bounced before settling back into his signature style, pointing vertically from his head.

Sakura had to cover the snorts coming from her mouth, "I—Ahahaha," She struggled to finish her sentence, "I never—ahaha, never noticed that."

"At least my hair's not _pink_. I'm surprised you got through stealth training."

A pink eyebrow rose, "If Naruto passed it looking like a fucking orange I think it'd be sad if I couldn't manage the same with only a head of pink hair." Sasuke took that in, then hummed grudgingly in acceptance.

"Oi! What is it with you two and picking on my outfit?! Orange is a youthful color!" As soon as the words came out of his mouth he cringed.

Sakura and Sasuke stared at him, "Don't _ever_ say that again, or we'll burn that damn thing and every scrap of orange clothing in the village."

" _Every_ scrap," Sasuke added again for emphasis, voice dangerously low.

"Ugh, deal. I think Lee has rubbed off on me more than I thought," Naruto grimaced. "If I say that again you have my permission to do your worst." When they got evil looks in their eyes, Naruto may have regretted that specific wording a little.

Another two hours passed as they bickered playfully, switching up the trap's placements every once in a while to catch as many people as possible (and sometimes shinobi that had already been caught before – shame on them). A presence that had been with them since a bit after they started, hidden in a tree that was surrounding the one they were languidly relaxing in, disappeared. They had all realized it right away but brushed it off, as the chakra was familiar. But the disappearance made them curious.

"Where do ya think he went?"

"Dunno," Sakura replied, chewing slowly on the last of the take out they had bought. "Maybe he was summoned?"

"Why has he been watchin' us lately anyways?"

This time Sasuke answered, "I believe he finds us interesting."

"Eh? Why?"

Green eyes rolled, exasperated. "Don't be a dumbass. We graduated early, broke into his neighbors apartment, his _jounin_ neighbor, and we've been playing pranks on the shinobi ranks for weeks now while being freshly minted genin."

"Well when you put it like that…" Naruto blinked, making a few of their special hand signs to alert them of their stalker's incoming presence.

Tenzō appeared with a quick shunshin at the end of one branch. His blank eyes surveyed them; "Hokage-sama requests Team Seven's presence, immediately." They shared a look, but eventually slipped down to the ground, said stalker following silently behind them. Sakura quickly threw away her leftovers in a bin on the side of the street and rejoined their small party.

"Yo, Yamato, how've ya been?" Naruto inquired, hands resting behind his head as he walked.

The name caused a slight twitch on the side of Tenzō's eye, "I have been doing my duties sufficiently, if that's what you're asking."

"Nah, I'm not askin' about your job, I'm askin' about _you_."

"I do not believe we know each other well enough for you to inquire in my personal life," Tenzō responded stiltedly.

Sakura laughed, "True enough, Yamato." Another twitch. She patted his arm slowly, "Don't be so uptight, you're acting a little… _woodenly_."

"Hn."

Naruto had to stifle his snicker, but wasn't able to stop his smile from spreading across his face. "Ah, don't worry Sakura-chan. I bet Yamato's just all _bark_ and no bite."

By this point, Tenzō's eye was practically seizing. If they weren't genin, and therefore probably had no idea about his kekkei genkai, he'd swear they were making fun of him. But Yama— _Tenzō_ dammit, was never good with human interactions in the first place, so there could be something he was missing. Thankfully they had reached the tower and were almost to the Hokage's office and he could just brush this off as his imagination seeing jokes where there weren't.

But then… the Uchiha smirked right before they entered and said, "By your _leaf_ , Yamato."

Tenzō's mouth dropped open just as the door shut behind the three genin. Both guards at the side of the doors were amused while the one, Genma, outright laughed. Which caused Tenzō to shoot a dirty look towards both Raidō and Genma, to no effect.

"Oh my god, those kids are officially my heroes." Genma said through gasps of laughter, having to brace himself on the wall.

Raidō smirked at Tenzō's aggravated expression then paused in thought, "So why are they calling you Yamato?"

Tenzō groaned in dismay.

* * *

On the other side of the door, the three fist bumped, to the delight of the Hokage who was looking on with a smile. "Having fun?"

"You know it, old man!"

He chuckled, tapping the pipe he was smoking against his lips; "I couldn't help noticing that there has been some delay in my shinobi messengers this morning. You three wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

"Us?" Sakura blinked innocently, "We haven't noticed anything unusual, have we boys?"

"Hn," Sasuke shrugged, while Naruto shook his head in the negative.

The older man smiled indulgently. "Of course not."

"If I may be so bold as to inquire, Hokage-sama…"

"Yes?"

The pink-haired girl looked up at him, hands clasped behind her back, "What is it that you need us for? I can't imagine most genin have a personal meeting with the Hokage often. Running a village must be busy, hard work after all."

"You are quite right. But it is the fact that you are genin that is the reason you're here." The Hokage hummed, taking a quick drag before continuing, "It has come to my attention that your assigned sensei has been inadequate. In fact, the report states that he hasn't trained you at all, and has been missing from your team meet ups every day. And just the other day filed a resignation form for his position as team leader. May I have your opinion on this matter?"

"Old man, that guy sucked!" Naruto loudly explained, and he could hear the minute shifting in the hidden ANBU's movements. It was obvious they agreed as well. "He was all weird about this bastard bein' the last Uchiha, barely paid any attention to Sakura-chan and me!" That was true. After a week or so of playing pranks on the teacher they decided to give him one last chance. They weren't _completely_ cruel. But he had only focused on Sasuke, ignoring them even though they had proved their right to be on a team. Even Sasuke was fed up with the guy by the end of the training session.

"I see, and you two? Sasuke, Sakura?"

Sakura frowned deeply, "If you wish my honest opinion I do not believe him fit to teach anyone. Though on the surface he seemed fine, there were underlying things that I noticed."

This caused the Hokage's eyebrows to rise, "Such as?"

"He seemed to suffer from a form of narcissism, always believing his ways to be the best and refused to think otherwise. For example, he was teaching Sasuke a taijutsu form that I saw would not mesh well with his fire jutsu and fighting style and told him as such. It was a deviation of an Earth form called Firm Mountain that focuses on defense and strong foot placement. Sasuke is primarily offense, using quick debilitating strikes to take down opponents. When I explained that the taijutsu style would be more likely to work well with me, he laughed and refused to teach me."

"Yeah, yeah! He said it wasn't for little girls like her!" Naruto input, eyes hard, definitely not happy at the memory. "Jerks like that could really hurt some kunoichi's confidence."

"If I was any less confident in my own abilities, it may have set me back." Sakura stated, thinking of how she had been before Tsunade and Kakashi. If she had been like her real genin self Yakamura could very well have destroyed any chance at becoming the kunoichi she was today. "Not to mention the detestable way that he treated civilians, his comrades, and even on occasion his own superiors. It does not instill a proper respect for the chain of command in any genin to see their own sensei disregard orders."

The Hokage looked grim at this, making a note to have the man go through more tests before deciding what to do with him. It wouldn't do to have future genin take after Yakamura if what they were telling him was the truth. "And you, Sasuke? Have anything to add?"

"He held his shuriken wrong." Sasuke stated flatly. " _Every_ time. Even after Naruto corrected him. And then tried to teach us." Naruto and Sakura snickered at that.

Hiruzen coughed indelicately, "I think that states your thoughts on the situation clearly enough. I will inform Yakamura that his resignation form has passed through, and he will no longer be sensei of your team."

"Is that all, Hokage-sama?"

Said man shook his head, "There is one other matter I must address that is in tandem with my previous line of questioning. As you are now no longer under a sensei, you three will be getting instruction from various jounin or tokubetsu jounin that can be spared, and they will cycle out every three days. They will meet you at 7am at training ground three, excluding Sundays, unless stated otherwise."

Sasuke looked intrigued, but remained passive, "Will we not be assigned a permanent jounin sensei?"

"I have already put in the paper work for your new sensei, though it may be a while before he is available as he has been out of the village for an extensive amount of time."

"Who? Who? Who?!" Naruto said, jumping on the balls of his feet in excitement. He had an idea already, but still…

"I believe you have heard of the Sannin?" When they nodded he continued, "He is one of the three, his name is Jiraiya. I've contacted him and he is on his way back to the village to pick you three up."

"Pick us up?" Sakura questioned.

"Yes, once he arrives Jiraiya will be taking you all on the road with him for a year until the next Chunin Exams. He should be here within the month, so I suggest you tell your parents Sakura, and all of you get your things in order before you leave. It will be hard on you, and there will be many difficulties ahead, so should you wish not to go, tell me now." Seeing the determination in all of their eyes, the Hokage didn't think that would be a problem, which worked well with his plans.

"Just wait and see old man! I'm gonna go on this trip and come back as such an awesome shinobi you'll beg me to take the hat, believe it!"

Sasuke scoffed, "I'm not afraid."

"No way am I falling behind these idiots, they'd be lost without me, Shannaro!" Sakura said firmly, fist clenched in the air.

"Very well, you are dismissed. Ah, and Sakura, don't forget to inform the hospital of your impending absence."

She nodded, giving him a smile before dragging the others out behind her. As they passed through the doors the two guards they knew to be Genma and Raidō sent them a smile and nod, making them all share a curious look as they left. Deciding to ignore that they made their way to the Uchiha district, which was quickly becoming their main base of operations.

Sasuke went through the entrance and pulled open the door to his living room after disabling all their traps. Throughout the months of coming back into their younger bodies Naruto and Sakura had brought more and more of their things over as they kept meeting there. When one day he had noticed he'd automatically started making all three of them bentos for their training Sasuke had thrown his hands up and sarcastically stated that they may as well live with him. The next day Naruto had brought over his futon, ugly orange clothing and Mr. Ukki, stating he had sold his apartment. Sakura was trailing behind him shamelessly, giving him a smile as she laid a pack by the entrance. And that was that.

In all honesty, a part of Sasuke had been relieved, as it had become odd for them to sleep separately after all the years they had worked together. Once they had defeated Kaguya and their village was stable, the three had taken a long trip to reform their bonds. Mostly to get away from the strange regard that everyone held them in. It had been odd for them to come to terms of the way they were treated, Sasuke with disdain, Naruto with worship, and Sakura with all the sudden marriage proposals (which had NOT pleased her teammates one bit).

There was a low table in the center, with small cushions on each side for all of them. Naruto's fuinjutsu scribbles dominating one side, Sakura's notes on medical jutsu and genjutsu next to his, while a pile of Sasuke's weapons covered the rest of it. The only other furniture was the couch against the wall, bookshelf brimming with scrolls and books, and the rolled out futons on the far side. And though Sakura had to go to her parent's house some nights, and Naruto snored like a chainsaw, it felt more like home than ever before.

Sasuke kicked through the clothes on the side, "Dammit Naruto, I told you to pick your clothes up!"

"Eh, relax. I'll do it tomorrow," He said as he plopped down, stretching across all of their futons.

"You said that _yesterday_." The black haired boy said through gritted teeth. "Now pick them up, or there'll be consequences."

"Whatever, Sasu-Kaa-chan."

An unholy fire burned in his onyx eyes, and he growled, "That's it!" He started flashing through the signs for a fire jutsu, aiming for the dirty pile of clothes. Naruto yelped and tackled him to the ground before he could finish, starting a tussle. Sakura calmly walked passed them into the kitchen, looking in the fridge. She knew there was one sure way to break them up easily.

"What do you guys want for dinner? We had some salmon left over, I could make—,"

Both boys burst into the kitchen and slammed the fridge closed, "No!"

Sasuke looked frazzled, "I'll make dinner! You, you… just sit down or something!" Naruto nodded along, eyes wide.

She rolled her eyes, "I make perfectly good meals, thank you."

They grimaced, and Naruto laughed shakily, "Sakura-chan's great with baking… cooking is a different matter."

"Burn dinner once and this is what I get," Sakura huffed before strolling back into the living room to settle down.

"It was more than 'burnt', we could have used it as charcoal for a bonfire."

Even if that was true, she still scowled. It didn't make sense how she always failed at making regular meals, but her desserts were divine. Oddly enough, Sasuke was the opposite, terrible desserts with good meals. "Shut up, baka. At least I'm not a complete disaster with cooking."

"Naruto, get out of my kitchen before you break something." Sasuke glared, gripping the knife he was using to slice the fish with tighter. The blond gulped and sat next to Sakura at the table in the living room.

They both watched as Sasuke started getting into his element, giving them a sense of peace. He brought a set of tea over to the table and went back to the kitchen. Then Naruto leaned over and 'whispered' to Sakura, "See, he's totally Sasu-Kaa-chan."

Sasuke spun, fury lining his movement, "I told you not to call me that!" The knife flew from his hand towards Naruto, making him squeak and run away. The Uchiha was there the next moment, his set of kitchen knives in his hands as he chased the blond throughout the house.

Doors were slammed and thumps could be heard, making Sakura sigh as she sipped her tea. The peace was nice while it had lasted.

* * *

 **Omake #3**

"— _glued_ my toilet shut, switched all of the drawers in the kitchen around, turned all my living room furniture upside-down and stuck it to the ceiling, hid fake _and_ real bugs all throughout my house which made me paranoid—,"

Anko sighed, looking forlornly out the window as the idiot across her kept talking. Why was she here again? Oh yeah… she was off duty because she'd stolen Ibiki's dango again, and he'd owed Yamanaka Inoichi a favor.

"—and the absolute _worst_ , they bleached my damn hair blond! Then I found a note stating 'you're finally a Yamanaka'" The man screeched, out of breath. "I don't even know what the hell they did, it can't turn back as apparently whatever they put in my shampoo _chemically_ altered the pigment in my fucking hair! The medic-nin's had no idea how they did it, meaning one of those brats, most likely that girl, created a way to permanently alter hair color _just to prank me_!" Yakamura growled while clenching his hand as he looked up to notice the therapist wasn't even paying attention. "Did you hear me?!"

"Nahhh, not really," Anko drawled languidly, "I mean the most I did was put some notes down for prank ideas." Knowing that Inoichi would get mad if she didn't take this _somewhat_ seriously, she added, "The kids sound fuckin' awesome to me, why not use that to further their shitty little shinobi careers or whatever?"

The man's face turned an ugly purple, which clashed horribly with the bleach blond hair he was now sporting. "You bitch! What kind of therapist ar—gerk!"

Anko had sprung across that desk faster than he could blink; twisting the scarf he wore around his neck and jerking it back, making him gurgle. She leaned down from her position behind Yakamura, whispering in his ear, "I am _not_ a therapist, I'm a T&I operative, and only here because Inoichi wanted the day off and I was the only one available. So, unless you want me to show you my _real_ line of specialty, I suggest you hold your fucking tongue when speaking to a lady. Got it?"

He nodded fearfully, grasping at the scarf.

"Now, I don't really give a damn about your stupid problems. But it sounds to me like you need to take that stick outta your ass. If those kids were able to get in your apartment, a _jounin's_ apartment, prank you, and then reset your traps, it shows that the only inadequate on here is _you_." She loosened her hold on his scarf and hopped onto the desk, "I'm signing you up for reevaluation."

Yakamura gaped, "What?! But you can't—," One look from her silenced his protests. "I—ehem, mean of course, Mitarashi-san."

"Also, unless you're a good enough shinobi, ditch the damn scarf and cut your hair. The moment you walked in here I'd thought of twelve different ways I could strangle you…and that's only with using your _hair_."

* * *

 **A/N: You guys got a little more backstory for what happened in the other timeline, Tenzō showed up, and the Hokage has started with his plans. So far, it was a pretty fun chapter for me to write. Hope you guys liked it as well.**

 **I have realized, Sasuke is practically the mother, Sakura the father, and Naruto the kid. Where does Kakashi fit in? lol. Maybe the eccentric uncle/grandpa?**


	12. Roads of life intersecting

**A/N: Wow, I'm just kinda in awe. I never imagined so many people would like this so much. And I'm super sorry about my absence these past few months. I literally had 1000 words written after the last chapter but never got around to finishing it. D: I just added to it since it's been so long and you guys deserve more. So sorry if its kinda choppy and stuff but I really just wanted to get SOMETHING out at least.**

 **I honestly have no idea what I'm doing *** **shrugs** *****

 **Enjoy~**

* * *

 **Somewhere in Fire Country**

"Honestly, Sakumo-san, we will take great care of the rest of the work for the season."

He sighed, "I know that Kasumi-san, it just has been so long, and I don't want to burden you—," She cut him off with a laugh, rolling her eyes along with it.

"Please, sir, your work as overseer of the farms is mostly done for this month, and anything that crops up I can finish. And you only work in the fields so you wont get bored, we'll be _fine_."

"And if—,"

"If your son shows up we'll treat him as an honored guest, but like you said, he'll be away for some time, and you have planned this for years. He will not hold it against you, if he is as good a son as you have been saying."

Sakumo definitely didn't pout, "But—,"

"Now get going, Sakumo-san."

A sigh left his mouth for the third time that morning. "Very well Kasumi-san, I shall abide by your wisdom as always. Take care, and tell the rest of them that I'll be back soon."

She gave him a small smile, "I will, now shoo."

Sakumo picked up his pack and went slowly over to a chest by the door. He opened it slowly then removed the cloth from the top. Setting it aside Sakumo stared down at the sword that was almost a twin for the one he had given his son. This one only had one name though, his long deceased wife's. She had come to his village in her youth to learn the ways of the sword. Ryoko was fierce and determined in everything she did, always giving it her all.

That passion was the reason he had fallen in love with her after all, and the reason he could in the first place. If she had not had the drive to learn kenjutsu Ryoko would never have come to his village. He had spent years teaching her the ways of the sword, and in secret she had taught him of chakra for more uses than just his sword. How to mold it to his will and use it as ninjutsu.

He brushed his fingers over the sheath gently before gripping it, standing, and swiftly attaching it to his hip. It felt good to have a piece of her by him again, for it had been too long. Giving a nod to Kasumi, who was looking at him curiously, he strode from the room taking a breath as sunrays warmed his face. The next half of the day was spent split between walking and jumping through trees, chakra swarming to his feet. Though Sakumo hadn't used chakra in a few years, it still came back to him as easily as breathing.

Around midday he took a break, relaxing against a tree. His eyes flicked to the left momentarily, "Come out, I know you're there and you've been following me since the village."

There was a pause before three forms came out from the bushes. One was a huge bulldog with a gruff demeanor; another had kanji written on his forehead and long ears, and the last, strangely enough, was sporting sunglasses. Two of them barked, and the one with sunglasses stepped forward, "Yo."

Sakumo stared in bewilderment.

"How'd ya know we were here?"

Blinking, he tapped the side of his nose, "Smell." It was a trick his wife taught him that had taken a while to master but was dead useful.

The dog made a sound in the back of his throat before nodding in acceptance. "Hm. Boss would not be pleased to know we let our guard down because of underestimating someone. We did not know of your heightened senses. Then again, we weren't trying as hard to hide from _you._ "

"And why were you following me? Should I be expecting an ambush? I haven't known anyone to use nin-dogs other than Inuzuka since my wife and those were summons. So unless Inuzuka's have been teaching their nin-dogs to talk…" His eyes narrowed, "You must be Kakashi's ninken."

Though most people didn't carry their summons's scrolls around with them, Ryoko had picked it up on the way to Konoha before they had been attacked. If someone had come upon the body later, and found Kakashi, it only made sense that they would take whatever was left as well. The part of him that had doubted Kakashi was truly his son, and not a relative of a rare (unknown) escapee, was relieved. A smile bloomed on his son, _his_ son. Although it hadn't mattered much before, as he would take anyone into his family that proved to be a Hatake, it was still a euphoric feeling, knowing that Kakashi was his.

"Yep. Boss didn't want to leave without making sure you had back up if needed. He's been makin' waves in the shinobi world for the past couple months, didn't want enemies to take you by surprise." The bulldog at his side huffed and the sunglasses one chuckled, "Indeed, Bull, it seems that Boss was worrying for no reason again." An amused glance was shot towards Sakumo, "He likes to pretend otherwise, but Boss is a mother-hen once someone's accepted into his pack."

"So," Sakumo started, "His name is Bull? And you two?"

"Name's Akino, I'm the only other one that was taught to talk other than Pakkun. But he's with Boss right now. Bisuke's the runt over here." Bisuke gave Akino a small nip to his leg for that.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all. How many of you are there, if I may ask?" Sakumo released the hand he had on his sword, taking out a meal he had prepared earlier that morning. He dug in now that there was no reason to stay on guard.

"There are five others, so eight in total." Akino answered as he sat down. "Since there's no reason to hide anymore, mind if we travel with you? Boss told us to keep an eye on you while he's gone."

"I do not mind. I assume you can provide food for yourselves?"

The dog nodded, "Boss has shown us how to if we have need." Akino gave a nod to Bull and Bisuke, whom disappeared into the trees surrounding them.

He could still smell them circling around, most likely to guard or search the area. Sakumo hummed thoughtfully. "When did my son gain his summons?"

Akino pushed up his sunglasses making them glint in the sun. "He tried his first attempt when he was five to my knowledge."

"Five," Sakumo whispered, in awe. "So young. My Ryoko didn't get her summons till she was over twenty. Although, that may have been because she only found it then."

"Perhaps, but Boss has always been a prodigy. At least that's what his mentor said."

Sakumo's head snapped up, "Mentor?" He had refrained from asking where Kakashi grew up, because for all that they were related, he didn't have any right. It wasn't him that had been there for his son.

"Yes, the man who raised him," Akino said carefully, knowing that he was going to have to balance on a fine line between the truth and lies. "He was a great shinobi, and taught Kakashi most of everything he knows."

The white haired man heard the past tense and realized the man must have died. Perhaps that was why Kakashi had searched for him, for the last family he had. Sakumo had noticed at the time of their first meeting that Kakashi had seemed to know his own last name before they met. Was it because of the summons scroll? Hatake Ryoko was the last name on the list after all. Of course, there could have been other ways, as Kakashi had definitely done some information gathering before finding him.

"You said he was a great shinobi, but… was he a good man?"

"The very best." Akino stated solemnly.

Sakumo nodded, smile twisting sadly. He packed his things quickly and made sure all signs that he had stopped here were gone before setting out again. Days passed as they traveled this way, simple questions interspersed through the silence. It didn't take long before Sakumo came to know the dogs quite well. Akino he knew the best as he was the only one to talk, but Bull was prone to snuggling and Bisuke had a tendency to pop up announced. The dogs had given him a nod before they were in view of the village he was heading, and then disappeared.

The town was as bustling inside as it looked from the outside, and was known as a luxury tourist village that seemed to focus on gambling. Sakumo took a look around before finding a relatively inexpensive inn and dropped his stuff off for the night. He kept his sword strapped to his side and money pouch secured inside his clothes. Taking a deep breath he exited the inn and entered the busy streets.

Dusk was quickly approaching and people were lighting the lanterns and stringing them back up. There were a few electrical lanterns, but the town mainly used paper lanterns to give a better effect during the evening, according to a food stand keeper he had stopped by. It was interesting how much a difference in warmth paper lanterns could give. Sakumo sighed contentedly, but a part of him was still a bit lost as to what he would do here. The villagers and farmers under his employment had planned this 'vacation' for years but in all honesty he had been avoiding it. Taking time off only seemed to emphasize how alone he was, but now with his son back…

Sakumo smiled slightly.

A bit further down the street he went inside a decent looking place, a few card games going on in the back with a bar up front. He walked to a table in the back and nodded at the few men there as they paused to look at him, "Evening, may I join your game?"

One black haired man glanced over him and nodded back, "Next one's in a few. We'll call you over."

He bowed slightly in response and started towards the bar to wait. As he approached he noticed the barkeep arguing with a woman. "C'mon Haruto, one more."

"And as I have said before, until you pay off your tab I cannot allow it."

"Fine if that's how you're—," She paused suddenly, just as Sakumo had sat down a few seats away. "Jiraiya?"

Sakumo turned, surprised when she seemed to be looking at him. Her face fell slightly as their gazes met. "My apologies, you must think me someone else."

"Ah," Tsunade let out a soft sound, something between disappointment and interest. "Yes. From the side you look very similar." Her golden brown eyes turned back to her empty cup.

They sat in silence after he ordered his drink. A small sake bottle was set in front of him and he faced her, holding it up questioningly, "Join me for a drink?" When she gave him a narrowed look, Sakumo chuckled, "Merely to talk, I am not making any passes."

The woman moved to the seat next to him, and he got a closer look at her. Long blonde hair was pulled back into two low ponytails and a curious purple triangle sat in the center of her forehead. "I'm Senju Tsunade."

"Pleased to meet you," He smiled. "My name is Hatake Sakumo."

* * *

 **Somewhere in Ame**

"I see." Kakashi pondered on the information that Obito had given him, thinking through his decision for a few moments though he already knew his answer. "I accept, but I have a few things I must do beforehand. I'll dig up some more info in the mean time if I'm able."

Obito grinned, black eyes glinting in the darkening sun. "Perfect. I'll see you around, Kakashi."

"So familiar already are we?" Kakashi couldn't help goading.

The man smirked over his shoulder, "Well, I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot of each other. So we may as well not fight the inevitable. We're destined to fight off terrible evils and bond together while saving each other's lives. Its practically staple hero journey stuff."

Kakashi huffed out a laugh, "That so?"

"Definitely."

They shared a look of understanding before nodding goodbye. Then Kakashi saw something come to Obito, and he paused. "Say… Kakashi, can I ask one last question?" At Kakashi's pointed look the Uchiha laughed and glanced at the hitai-ate over his eye. "Why that? It's not like you have to wear a headband."

"This?" He said softly, touching his covered eye. Kakashi looked up at the sky, tired smile coming to his lips. "It's a message."

"A message? To who?"

He thought for a moment on telling him what he told Kinji at the mercenary station, but quickly discarded it. "Yeah, to my precious people and to myself. That even if we're apart, even if they cant understand, I'm not leaving them behind."

Sadness came over Obito's face for barely a second before changing into a quiet tenderness. "I think I understand," The man touched his own cheek and Kakashi just then realized there were two markings much like Rin's on each side but about half the size and dark orange.

Kakashi analyzed the look before turning to walk away, eyes suspiciously wet, "Later… Obito."

On the trip back to the small, desecrated village he put away the scroll sealed with Hidan's body and scythe. It took a few hours until he saw it in the distance. He hopped down out of the trees and entered the village, after a bit he heard a female voice that wasn't Asuga's. Kakashi sniffed the air and confirmed that there was another person with Deidara and Asuga before exiting the alleyway and into the center of the town. The circle had been washed away with a jutsu and most of the remains removed. It seemed as if the little sand-nin and his minion had been busy while he was away.

Bright pinkish red hair came into vision and his eyes widened, but he fixed his expression once Deidara turned to him, his whole countenance brightening. "Kakashi-sensei!" His little minion stopped in his advance towards Kakashi, face flushed. "I-I—,"

"Maa, look at how cute my minion is!" He smirked, patting Deidara's hair and making it poof up.

"You—!" Deidara started, only to be stopped by a small hand tugging on his sleeve. "Ah, right. This is Uzumaki Karin. We found her in the well."

"Hello," She bowed to him. "Nice to meet you Kakashi-san." Karin smiled, "So you are Deidara-senpai's sensei?"

Ignoring Deidara's sputtered rejections, Kakashi said, "Yes, I am."

Karin got a determined look, "Then I'm coming with you!"

"…Eh?"

"I want to be strong like Deidara-senpai!" With that remark, she grabbed a kunai and slashed through her Kusa hitai-ate.

"…EHHH?!" Deidara and Kakashi echoed, Asuga pinching her brow next to Karin.

"Karin-chan, I think you need to ask before you decide something like that for other people," Asuga tried to reason.

Karin narrowed her eyes and nodded to herself, as if making a decision, "You should take me along, and I can heal you. You're a missing-nin, meaning most places wont allow you into their hospitals. I have an ability to transfer my life chakra into others, I'll be useful to you, I promise!" When Kakashi didn't say anything she added, "please, I don't have anywhere else to go."

From behind her Deidara had crossed his arms and was giving him a look. Kakashi groaned inwardly. "Fine." Then muttered to himself wearily, "Why do I do this to myself? Somehow, this is going to be a disaster."

* * *

 **A/N: Did you really think I was gonna tell you what Obito and Kakashi discussed so easily? :3 muahaha**

 **But at least there was some bonding? And Karin makes a decision while Sakumo meets someone interesting! :D**

 **It's really time to move on from dark depressing things!**

 **I was torn between Kakashi being called sensei or senpai by Deidara lol, but I decided on sensei since he IS teaching him and Deidara is on the same level as Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke now. If he ever calls him senpai, it may be in the future when they have an even closer bond. And while Karin may call Deidara 'senpai' he didn't really agree to it, so it's kinda one sided right now. Maybe I'm making a mess of all the honorifics or whatever, but oh well.**

 **Don't know if Kakashi's ninken are actual summons, but I made them that way. ;)**


End file.
